4 ms·

If I read this right: - lots of arguments about things you considered small - issues focused on “disrespect”, which is a perception thing that she had 100% co

by csa 5y ago

If I read this right: - lots of arguments about things you considered small - issues focused on “disrespect”, which is a perception thing that she had 100% control over - needed to resolve issues immediately - “resolution”, if it happened, took up to six hours with no option to end on your side It sounds like she has some major issues that probably warrant professional help. To be fair, you may have issues as well (e.g., things that are “minor” to you may be a big deal to most people). If you want to resolve this internally, I recommend going to a relationship counselor/psychologist alone and just doing a reality check. Make sure you present her side to the counselor as reasonably as possible. You will probably find a few things you could do better, but you will probably also find that you were being controlled by someone with major issues. Fwiw, I think ending this relationship was a good idea.

pcthrowaway 5y ago
She's getting professional help. I have issues also, which I've been working on. But the things I would think were minor were maybe not "leaving a water glass next to the sink" minor, but maybe "forgetting to wash the dishes sometimes" minor (when the sink wasn't full... also the dishes were my chore) It's not about whether those things are only an issue for her though, the fact that they are an issue for her still causes conflict, and was important to me, I just couldn't keep up with the things she needed in addition to the inability to resolve conflict quickly, and my work.
makeitdouble 5y ago
> issues focused on “disrespect”, which is a perception thing that she had 100% control over To note, solving that perception thing unilaterally more often than not means leaving the couple The article touches on this, and many comments too, but even IRL talking to divorced parents, “X just didn’t give a shit about us” is a pretty common thing to hear as the core reason they chose to make it end, even considering all the consequences including the kids.

by csa 5y ago

pcthrowaway 5y ago

She's getting professional help. I have issues also, which I've been working on. But the things I would think were minor were maybe not "leaving a water glass next to the sink" minor, but maybe "forgetting to wash the dishes sometimes" minor (when the sink wasn't full... also the dishes were my chore) It's not about whether those things are only an issue for her though, the fact that they are an issue for her still causes conflict, and was important to me, I just couldn't keep up with the things she needed in addition to the inability to resolve conflict quickly, and my work.

makeitdouble 5y ago

> issues focused on “disrespect”, which is a perception thing that she had 100% control over To note, solving that perception thing unilaterally more often than not means leaving the couple The article touches on this, and many comments too, but even IRL talking to divorced parents, “X just didn’t give a shit about us” is a pretty common thing to hear as the core reason they chose to make it end, even considering all the consequences including the kids.