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Yes, in a way I think it's almost easier to have two incomes and pay for help/services with the excess. Even if there is a 2:1 income ratio, each side can feel

Yes, in a way I think it's almost easier to have two incomes and pay for help/services with the excess. Even if there is a 2:1 income ratio, each side can feel they are contributing monetarily and collectively decide what tasks are worth doing vs paying for. I can understand the psychology of both sides - the breadwinner thinks they are doing their job outside the house so why is the spouse not doing all the stuff inside the house. Any subset of tasks breadwinner spouse pick up (like dishes or laundry) they expects a gold star sticker for doing extra. Meanwhile the homemaker spouse feels put upon for the 1000 other things they do around the house and dealing with the kids. Likewise this is akin to the homemaker spouse tutored the neighbors kid for $100/week and then telling the 6-figure breadwinner that they are also contributing to the families income. Each side feels correct and like they are going above and beyond their scope..

Thlom 5y ago
Is it normal in the US that only one in a relationship is working? I don’t think I know anyone where only one in the relationship is working. To me it feels like the power dynamics in such a relationship quickly gets really toxic.
- steveBK123 5y ago
  Outside high cost of living / coastal / urban areas yeah. Even a lot of these people may be two income couples but came from one income households, so they grew up with a father doing nothing/much less around the house and find it normal.
  - antisthenes 5y ago
    Why is it not normal? Modern appliances make housekeeping basically a breeze. Unless you expect perfectly ironed shirts of something ridiculous like vacuuming every day. Now if children are in play, then it's a whole different ballgame. It easily triples or quadruples the work that needs to get done around the house.
- mensetmanusman 5y ago
  Many (mostly) women enjoy caretaking more than working for the machine. Definitely higher quality of life satisfaction is possible if the division of labor is agreed upon. Complementary relationships can be far less stressful if each are sacrificing for the well being of the other.
- tsol 5y ago
  Honestly it's still common all over the world, isn't it?

Thlom 5y ago

Is it normal in the US that only one in a relationship is working? I don’t think I know anyone where only one in the relationship is working. To me it feels like the power dynamics in such a relationship quickly gets really toxic.

steveBK123 5y ago
Outside high cost of living / coastal / urban areas yeah. Even a lot of these people may be two income couples but came from one income households, so they grew up with a father doing nothing/much less around the house and find it normal.
- antisthenes 5y ago
  Why is it not normal? Modern appliances make housekeeping basically a breeze. Unless you expect perfectly ironed shirts of something ridiculous like vacuuming every day. Now if children are in play, then it's a whole different ballgame. It easily triples or quadruples the work that needs to get done around the house.
mensetmanusman 5y ago
Many (mostly) women enjoy caretaking more than working for the machine. Definitely higher quality of life satisfaction is possible if the division of labor is agreed upon. Complementary relationships can be far less stressful if each are sacrificing for the well being of the other.
tsol 5y ago
Honestly it's still common all over the world, isn't it?