In case it helps you in the future, or for other readers here, let me just add: the symptoms you describe are well past the point where you probably need to see

In case it helps you in the future, or for other readers here, let me just add: the symptoms you describe are well past the point where you probably need to see a therapist to make the relationship work. There are things you can do to fix this. They require work on both sides, obviously, but it can be done. But unless you have way more self-awareness than I do, it's not likely that you're just going to pick them up out of thin air. The good news is, this is stuff you can learn. If you prefer to read a book on this topic, the one I'd recommend is: The New Rules of Marriage by Terrence Real https://www.amazon.com/dp/B000NJL7RS https://www.amazon.com/dp/B000NJL7RS But I really do strongly recommend therapy in these situations. This is the sort of thing where the therapist can help you figure out whether you both have fault or if one person is really over the line. And then you're not responsible for convincing your parter that X thing they're doing is unreasonable.