6 ms·

The most important marriage lesson is: don’t get married. The person you marry is not the person you divorce. You can lose a huge amount of money battling it

The most important marriage lesson is: don’t get married. The person you marry is not the person you divorce. You can lose a huge amount of money battling it out even if YOU bend over backwards to be reasonable. If you want to flip a coin to see if you lose ten years of earnings, then marriage is for you.

whateveracct 5y ago
what a pitiable existence
- epicureanideal 5y ago
  I’d be glad if everybody would help change the legal implications of the marriage contract, so that it would be safe and financially reasonable to get married. But that just isn’t the case currently.
  - whateveracct 5y ago
    Get a prenup if it's that important to you 50/50 is a reasonable default when there isn't a prenup. Marriage is a union of souls into one. When they split, 50/50 only makes sense. If you can't get that, then you have bigger blockers besides legal ramifications to getting married.
    - epicureanideal 5y ago
      50/50 asset split is far from the problem. Ongoing alimony after the split, excessive child support far beyond the cost of raising children , and huge legal costs to reach a slightly less terrible outcome are the problems. Not to mention the separation of fathers from children, but that often happens with or without an official marriage.
62951413 5y ago
It's factually correct though you need to replace "can" with "will", especially in states like CA. Make no mistake, the discrimination is systemic. So it's not just you who is unlucky and you won't find a loophole just because you're clever. And it's all fun and games until you're about 40. At which point a man needs a family to take care of. So it's the most existential catch 22 situation in your life. You cannot win but you have to play.
- whateveracct 5y ago
  You actually can win..love exists..
phendrenad2 5y ago
It's worth it though. Consider the single male life. You will have no friends, because your male friends will all get wives and girlfriends, who will dissuade them from hanging out with you, the weird bachelor. You will be seen as weird at work because all of your coworkers will be married, and people don't like an outlier. So the cost is high, so what? You could get divorced, lose half of everything you own, and have to pay ((your salary) - (her salary)) for the rest of your life. But what's the point of money if not to buy experiences?
- frontman1988 5y ago
  You can be unmarried and be in a relationship. Marriage is bondage. It's primarily a feminine desire of women to seek stability for their offsprings. Men are better off having multiple partners and having shorter relationships. Also as the weird bachelor you don't have to hang out with your coworkers, there is usually far more exciting company available.
  - phendrenad2 5y ago
    I'm but a layman when it comes to interpersonal relationships, but it's my understanding that society puts pressure on people to get married. So while yes, in theory, you can be in a relationship and not married, in practice the social pressure will eventually push you, or, much more likely, the other person in the relationship, to want marriage. So your only recourse is to jump from relationship to relationship and break them off each time an ultimatum is reached. Breaking off relationships takes an emotional toll on people, so it's not a viable strategy for many people.
    - epicureanideal 5y ago
      So tell people you’re married and wear rings, but don’t throw away your life to make “society” happy.
  - whateveracct 5y ago
    Marriage and love is the closest thing we can get to Faith in these secular times. If you can't have Faith in another person, there's probably something deeper wrong in your soul. That's not the end of the world, but it's worth exploring since it's low-hanging fruit for psychic development.

whateveracct 5y ago

what a pitiable existence

epicureanideal 5y ago
I’d be glad if everybody would help change the legal implications of the marriage contract, so that it would be safe and financially reasonable to get married. But that just isn’t the case currently.
- whateveracct 5y ago
  Get a prenup if it's that important to you 50/50 is a reasonable default when there isn't a prenup. Marriage is a union of souls into one. When they split, 50/50 only makes sense. If you can't get that, then you have bigger blockers besides legal ramifications to getting married.
  - epicureanideal 5y ago
    50/50 asset split is far from the problem. Ongoing alimony after the split, excessive child support far beyond the cost of raising children , and huge legal costs to reach a slightly less terrible outcome are the problems. Not to mention the separation of fathers from children, but that often happens with or without an official marriage.

62951413 5y ago

It's factually correct though you need to replace "can" with "will", especially in states like CA. Make no mistake, the discrimination is systemic. So it's not just you who is unlucky and you won't find a loophole just because you're clever. And it's all fun and games until you're about 40. At which point a man needs a family to take care of. So it's the most existential catch 22 situation in your life. You cannot win but you have to play.

whateveracct 5y ago
You actually can win..love exists..

phendrenad2 5y ago

It's worth it though. Consider the single male life. You will have no friends, because your male friends will all get wives and girlfriends, who will dissuade them from hanging out with you, the weird bachelor. You will be seen as weird at work because all of your coworkers will be married, and people don't like an outlier. So the cost is high, so what? You could get divorced, lose half of everything you own, and have to pay ((your salary) - (her salary)) for the rest of your life. But what's the point of money if not to buy experiences?

frontman1988 5y ago
You can be unmarried and be in a relationship. Marriage is bondage. It's primarily a feminine desire of women to seek stability for their offsprings. Men are better off having multiple partners and having shorter relationships. Also as the weird bachelor you don't have to hang out with your coworkers, there is usually far more exciting company available.
- phendrenad2 5y ago
  I'm but a layman when it comes to interpersonal relationships, but it's my understanding that society puts pressure on people to get married. So while yes, in theory, you can be in a relationship and not married, in practice the social pressure will eventually push you, or, much more likely, the other person in the relationship, to want marriage. So your only recourse is to jump from relationship to relationship and break them off each time an ultimatum is reached. Breaking off relationships takes an emotional toll on people, so it's not a viable strategy for many people.
  - epicureanideal 5y ago
    So tell people you’re married and wear rings, but don’t throw away your life to make “society” happy.
- whateveracct 5y ago
  Marriage and love is the closest thing we can get to Faith in these secular times. If you can't have Faith in another person, there's probably something deeper wrong in your soul. That's not the end of the world, but it's worth exploring since it's low-hanging fruit for psychic development.