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> People expect a fairy tale, when they're signing up for a job. Nope. BS. And I am saying this as a guy with one failed marriage and now with a super happy on

> People expect a fairy tale, when they're signing up for a job. Nope. BS. And I am saying this as a guy with one failed marriage and now with a super happy one going stronger than before even, 8 years down the line. Stop perpetuating work ethic when it comes to feelings and partnership, please. Relationships can be beautiful in literally every way. Maybe just keep looking and don't generalize because that makes you look bitter. Is that your intent?

scarmig 5y ago
The key is to find someone who is actually attracted to you. Not in a "oh I guess I can tolerate kissing you" type of way, but in a "I often fantasize about touching your body" type of way. Mutual sexual attraction makes it possible to develop that type of relationship, but a lot of the time men in particular settle for less. I strongly encourage anyone who doesn't have that type of relationship and wants one to break things off. Even if there's only a 25% chance you think you could find someone like that, it's worth it: it makes everything nearly effortless, and the relationship becomes filled with joy and not drudgery.
- pdimitar 5y ago
  Absolutely! I didn't even look that good when my wife found me; I had a belly and my teeth definitely needed attention (and after 32 months of bracers they look better than those of most people I meet nowadays ^_^). She still thought I was the sexiest man she has ever met, and her actions when we were alone confirmed it many times. Without genuine attraction a relationship turns into a transaction. And it starts poisoning the sides involved. I too recommend people getting a bit more courageous and stop settling for less than what would make them happy.
mise_en_place 5y ago
It's not so much work ethic as it is mental discipline. If you have not mastered yourself when it comes to the dishes, you cannot master yourself in tough periods of life, and so on. You have to be present in each moment, regardless of whether it's doing dishes or having the best day of your life.
- pdimitar 5y ago
  IMO part of a relationship is to grow and develop together. If somebody stubbornly decides they are already as perfect as they can ever be, then the results -- them being lonely -- are predictable. And yep, being present and aware is absolutely critical, I agree with you.

scarmig 5y ago

The key is to find someone who is actually attracted to you. Not in a "oh I guess I can tolerate kissing you" type of way, but in a "I often fantasize about touching your body" type of way. Mutual sexual attraction makes it possible to develop that type of relationship, but a lot of the time men in particular settle for less. I strongly encourage anyone who doesn't have that type of relationship and wants one to break things off. Even if there's only a 25% chance you think you could find someone like that, it's worth it: it makes everything nearly effortless, and the relationship becomes filled with joy and not drudgery.

pdimitar 5y ago
Absolutely! I didn't even look that good when my wife found me; I had a belly and my teeth definitely needed attention (and after 32 months of bracers they look better than those of most people I meet nowadays ^_^). She still thought I was the sexiest man she has ever met, and her actions when we were alone confirmed it many times. Without genuine attraction a relationship turns into a transaction. And it starts poisoning the sides involved. I too recommend people getting a bit more courageous and stop settling for less than what would make them happy.

mise_en_place 5y ago

It's not so much work ethic as it is mental discipline. If you have not mastered yourself when it comes to the dishes, you cannot master yourself in tough periods of life, and so on. You have to be present in each moment, regardless of whether it's doing dishes or having the best day of your life.

pdimitar 5y ago
IMO part of a relationship is to grow and develop together. If somebody stubbornly decides they are already as perfect as they can ever be, then the results -- them being lonely -- are predictable. And yep, being present and aware is absolutely critical, I agree with you.