5 ms·

Feel free to downvote but please tell me why I am wrong. I legitimately struggle with this as is obviously clear from my tone.

AlwaysRock 4y ago
You're wrong because you've bucketed half the global population either because of your blissful ignorance or because your personal anecdotal, likely very limited data and sample size, supports your belief.
- perpetuummobile 4y ago
  I’m sorry but I’m not blissful about it. Women bad ha ha… not. What else do I have to go by than my own personal experience? Self help book? You have no idea what weight my sample has given the constant emotional and physical abuse I have to deal with.
  - AlwaysRock 4y ago
    You asked to be pointed out where you are wrong, and then you argued with the responses given.
- khazhoux 4y ago
  I think at some point in their lives, people are entitled, just maybe, to draw from their own personal experiences in the course of conversation. Just about every one of the 600 comments on this post are people sharing their personal experience (their dreadfully non-scientific anecdotes!). Here, the commenter is saying it's their experience that women are more easily annoyed by "little things." Perhaps you've had the opposite experience, where your male friends complain non-stop about their female partner's annoying little habits?
jelliclesfarm 4y ago
1. It is not ‘always women’. Men are also rankled by such things. 2. Women have to deal with the pressure of feminism. For example: I like to cook. I love feeding people and don’t think of it as chore that oppressed women, but I have friends who will not cook(and I know they don’t hate cooking) because they have to make a feminist point. 3. I grew up in India and there is a very vibrant food culture. To be able to cook well is a feather in the cap. It is not so in the states and after I moved here, I was amazed that even those who absolutely loved cooking back home were acting like kitchen work was slavery. 4. Again from an Indian immigrant perspective: There is a weird resistance to obtaining hired help in America. Even middle class homes have hired help in India. These days, even in the states, Indian households will pay someone to help with laundry or cutting vegetables for cooking or just household help. After apps like Nextdoor etc have come up, it’s easier to find help. Interestingly, the house help is often other women in the same neighborhood who want to make a few extra bucks. But I don’t think it’s about the money as everyone is usually in the same social strata in any neighbour hood. It’s about company. 5. Women need female company. We are just slightly different looking female apes. Women need to be social with those they don’t compete with..and girlfriends are always competing. It’s hideous living 24/7 with men. In nuclear families, there are no other female figures. I grew up with a large extended joint family. We had 3-4 generations of women under one roof. There is an age based hierarchy. 6. Contrast that to modern nuclear families with only one adult head female. For working women, it’s worse because they have to go to work and compete with both men and women. There was clear division of labour and enough people to carry out the tasks in my large joint family. 7. Speaking for myself and specifically about kitchens: The kitchen is my domain in my house. It is a matter of control because it is a matter of pride. Because I am the one who is cooking, if I don’t have a kitchen that is organized, I can’t do my job properly. I expect the knives, glasses and cutlery, spice jars and plates to be where I expect them to be…when I cook I am not thinking, I am ‘reaching’ for that familiar nook where I expect to find the salt or the spoon. Cooking is fast and involves heat. I don’t have time to scuttle about looking for things or dinner would be burnt. It is the same with a chef in any professional kitchen. My 2c.
- em-bee 4y ago
  the problem with hired help is that is severely reduces the privacy of your home because you always have someone around who is not family. depending on your culture this can be a serious dampener on things like intimacy in your relationship. my understanding is that in india you don't even show intimacy in front of your children, so this part is very much limited to your bedroom. which means the hired help is rarely going to be a problem. in western culture intimacy is more open, and any stranger around becomes a disruption. it is also a cost issue. i don't know about the US but hired help in europe is a lot more expensive. in germany for example you'd even have to pay for their insurance so the average middle income family simply can't afford it.
  - jelliclesfarm 4y ago
    Define ‘intimacy’.
    - em-bee 4y ago
      intimacy is very different culturally. but generally it is any physical interaction with your partner. to give you an example, i have heard from an indian friend that they would not touch their husband in front of their kids. no holding hands, hugging or kissing of any kind. i don't know if that is common in indian culture. i am not trying to generalize. the point that matters is that i feel very restrained in how i act when our housekeeper is present.
      - jelliclesfarm 4y ago
        It seems like a generalization. India has 1.4 billion people. House help isn’t around 24 hours/day. Just like you wouldn’t be intimate with your partner in front of your boss, I guess it’s the same with someone you employ?
  - jelliclesfarm 4y ago
    I have never heard display of intimacy being connected to the decision to employ hired house help before. I am revisiting this just to register my marvel at the perception dreamed up about india in the rest of the world. East and west, they will never meet. I am going with the assumption that you were sincere, but this gross generalization can be construed as a little odd. I never imagine how the westerners are intimate or conflate that to regular way of life even though I have lived in both sides of the cultural world. Thanks once again for opening up my mind to acknowledge the differences between the east and the west.
1970-01-01 4y ago
Upvoted and you're right. Have a nice day!

AlwaysRock 4y ago

You're wrong because you've bucketed half the global population either because of your blissful ignorance or because your personal anecdotal, likely very limited data and sample size, supports your belief.

perpetuummobile 4y ago
I’m sorry but I’m not blissful about it. Women bad ha ha… not. What else do I have to go by than my own personal experience? Self help book? You have no idea what weight my sample has given the constant emotional and physical abuse I have to deal with.
- AlwaysRock 4y ago
  You asked to be pointed out where you are wrong, and then you argued with the responses given.
khazhoux 4y ago
I think at some point in their lives, people are entitled, just maybe, to draw from their own personal experiences in the course of conversation. Just about every one of the 600 comments on this post are people sharing their personal experience (their dreadfully non-scientific anecdotes!). Here, the commenter is saying it's their experience that women are more easily annoyed by "little things." Perhaps you've had the opposite experience, where your male friends complain non-stop about their female partner's annoying little habits?

jelliclesfarm 4y ago

1. It is not ‘always women’. Men are also rankled by such things. 2. Women have to deal with the pressure of feminism. For example: I like to cook. I love feeding people and don’t think of it as chore that oppressed women, but I have friends who will not cook(and I know they don’t hate cooking) because they have to make a feminist point. 3. I grew up in India and there is a very vibrant food culture. To be able to cook well is a feather in the cap. It is not so in the states and after I moved here, I was amazed that even those who absolutely loved cooking back home were acting like kitchen work was slavery. 4. Again from an Indian immigrant perspective: There is a weird resistance to obtaining hired help in America. Even middle class homes have hired help in India. These days, even in the states, Indian households will pay someone to help with laundry or cutting vegetables for cooking or just household help. After apps like Nextdoor etc have come up, it’s easier to find help. Interestingly, the house help is often other women in the same neighborhood who want to make a few extra bucks. But I don’t think it’s about the money as everyone is usually in the same social strata in any neighbour hood. It’s about company. 5. Women need female company. We are just slightly different looking female apes. Women need to be social with those they don’t compete with..and girlfriends are always competing. It’s hideous living 24/7 with men. In nuclear families, there are no other female figures. I grew up with a large extended joint family. We had 3-4 generations of women under one roof. There is an age based hierarchy. 6. Contrast that to modern nuclear families with only one adult head female. For working women, it’s worse because they have to go to work and compete with both men and women. There was clear division of labour and enough people to carry out the tasks in my large joint family. 7. Speaking for myself and specifically about kitchens: The kitchen is my domain in my house. It is a matter of control because it is a matter of pride. Because I am the one who is cooking, if I don’t have a kitchen that is organized, I can’t do my job properly. I expect the knives, glasses and cutlery, spice jars and plates to be where I expect them to be…when I cook I am not thinking, I am ‘reaching’ for that familiar nook where I expect to find the salt or the spoon. Cooking is fast and involves heat. I don’t have time to scuttle about looking for things or dinner would be burnt. It is the same with a chef in any professional kitchen. My 2c.

em-bee 4y ago
the problem with hired help is that is severely reduces the privacy of your home because you always have someone around who is not family. depending on your culture this can be a serious dampener on things like intimacy in your relationship. my understanding is that in india you don't even show intimacy in front of your children, so this part is very much limited to your bedroom. which means the hired help is rarely going to be a problem. in western culture intimacy is more open, and any stranger around becomes a disruption. it is also a cost issue. i don't know about the US but hired help in europe is a lot more expensive. in germany for example you'd even have to pay for their insurance so the average middle income family simply can't afford it.
- jelliclesfarm 4y ago
  Define ‘intimacy’.
  - em-bee 4y ago
    intimacy is very different culturally. but generally it is any physical interaction with your partner. to give you an example, i have heard from an indian friend that they would not touch their husband in front of their kids. no holding hands, hugging or kissing of any kind. i don't know if that is common in indian culture. i am not trying to generalize. the point that matters is that i feel very restrained in how i act when our housekeeper is present.
    - jelliclesfarm 4y ago
      It seems like a generalization. India has 1.4 billion people. House help isn’t around 24 hours/day. Just like you wouldn’t be intimate with your partner in front of your boss, I guess it’s the same with someone you employ?
- jelliclesfarm 4y ago
  I have never heard display of intimacy being connected to the decision to employ hired house help before. I am revisiting this just to register my marvel at the perception dreamed up about india in the rest of the world. East and west, they will never meet. I am going with the assumption that you were sincere, but this gross generalization can be construed as a little odd. I never imagine how the westerners are intimate or conflate that to regular way of life even though I have lived in both sides of the cultural world. Thanks once again for opening up my mind to acknowledge the differences between the east and the west.

1970-01-01 4y ago

Upvoted and you're right. Have a nice day!