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> "Would taking 10 seconds to do this now make my wife 1% less stressed?" An addition to this unrelated to marriage - if it takes 10 seconds, why isn't it alre

> "Would taking 10 seconds to do this now make my wife 1% less stressed?" An addition to this unrelated to marriage - if it takes 10 seconds, why isn't it already done instead of considering whether to do it or not? I have a personal rule that unless I have another issue that requires attention right now (like working from home being work time, etc) If it take 5 minutes or less to do it I just do it right away and never let myself say 'I'll do it later' because 1/2 the time you don't do it later, and its easier to just finish it right away and never worry about it again. Dishwasher finish? It takes 3 minutes to put away the dishes. Now your dishwasher is empty so it takes 5 seconds to put away dirty dishes. Dishwasher full? take 20 seconds to put in some detergent and get it started. 3 minutes + 10 seconds means you never have to deal with dirty dishes on the counter or in the sink.

jeffrallen 5y ago
The other day my wife said, "Ugh, I hate it when you run the dishwasher during the day, because then I have to empty it before filling it." Sometimes you cannot win. But it's still a game worth playing: being married is the best thing that ever happened to me.
- LegitShady 5y ago
  if the dishwasher is full I don't really understand the point of waiting for night to run the dishwasher...there's no more room for dishes in it and someone is going to have to empty it either way, and wouldn't it be better to have the dishes inside clean? Do you not empty the dishwasher at all when you start it during the day, and that's the actual issue?
  - jeffrallen 5y ago
    Your logic is impeccable. The point is not the discussion. The point is accepting a pointless gripe from your sweetie because they would do the same for you.
    - LegitShady 5y ago
      I don't know it sounds like a legitimate complain where you buried the lead - that the dishwasher wasn't being emptied when you ran it during the day.
- op00to 5y ago
  Dishwashers running overnight have been implicated in house fires. Best not to run the dishwasher unattended! :)
AlwaysRock 5y ago
This is the cause of the same fight over and over. One side is annoyed by something that is small and takes little time to do. The other side says why are you annoyed by something that is so insignificant? The other side says if its insignificant to you why cant you do it? I've had some version of this argument 1000's of times and its ended a lot of relationships I had pre marriage.
aidenn0 5y ago
I have 1000 things I'd like done that take less than 30 seconds. I don't have 4 hours to do them all.
- LegitShady 5y ago
  You probably don't.
  - kaybe 5y ago
    When you start out, it might be a lot of items. The question is how often they renew.
  - aidenn0 5y ago
    Would you believe I have about 50 things that would take about 5 minutes? That also works out to 4 hours. I definitely have more than 100 "little things" I would like to do; it's possible 1000 is an exaggeration.
    - LegitShady 5y ago
      so it sounds like you have a lot of build up. I would recommend approaching it piecemeal spread out throughout your day, but on a schedule so that you force yourself to do it - something like 5 minutes every hour. in a week or two you'll run out of things to do and you can work on the 5 minute rule I originally mentioned.
brimble 5y ago
> An addition to this unrelated to marriage - if it takes 10 seconds, why isn't it already done instead of considering whether to do it or not? "I might re-use it" is in the article. It's a matter of preference, and who's more willing to make A Thing out of it, not objective right and wrong. I, for one, think dishes-in-sink (if they can't fit in the dishwasher but it's also not full enough to run yet, or if it's running, or if it's clean and you're in too big a rush to empty it right that second) is worse for a whole list of reasons, unless you have very limited counter space, but we do it anyway, because I don't care enough to insist on doing it my way, and my wife does. Whatevs. I do wonder how many quietly-very-slightly-suffering spouses there are out there, over this exact issue.
op00to 5y ago
That works for you. I prefer to plan and psych myself up for this stuff. Don't expect everyone to want to handle household tasks exactly on your schedule.
- LegitShady 5y ago
  that rule governs my actions, not other people's actions, but it does decide how my environment ends up being.

jeffrallen 5y ago

The other day my wife said, "Ugh, I hate it when you run the dishwasher during the day, because then I have to empty it before filling it." Sometimes you cannot win. But it's still a game worth playing: being married is the best thing that ever happened to me.

LegitShady 5y ago
if the dishwasher is full I don't really understand the point of waiting for night to run the dishwasher...there's no more room for dishes in it and someone is going to have to empty it either way, and wouldn't it be better to have the dishes inside clean? Do you not empty the dishwasher at all when you start it during the day, and that's the actual issue?
- jeffrallen 5y ago
  Your logic is impeccable. The point is not the discussion. The point is accepting a pointless gripe from your sweetie because they would do the same for you.
  - LegitShady 5y ago
    I don't know it sounds like a legitimate complain where you buried the lead - that the dishwasher wasn't being emptied when you ran it during the day.
op00to 5y ago
Dishwashers running overnight have been implicated in house fires. Best not to run the dishwasher unattended! :)

AlwaysRock 5y ago

This is the cause of the same fight over and over. One side is annoyed by something that is small and takes little time to do. The other side says why are you annoyed by something that is so insignificant? The other side says if its insignificant to you why cant you do it? I've had some version of this argument 1000's of times and its ended a lot of relationships I had pre marriage.

aidenn0 5y ago

I have 1000 things I'd like done that take less than 30 seconds. I don't have 4 hours to do them all.

LegitShady 5y ago
You probably don't.
- kaybe 5y ago
  When you start out, it might be a lot of items. The question is how often they renew.
- aidenn0 5y ago
  Would you believe I have about 50 things that would take about 5 minutes? That also works out to 4 hours. I definitely have more than 100 "little things" I would like to do; it's possible 1000 is an exaggeration.
  - LegitShady 5y ago
    so it sounds like you have a lot of build up. I would recommend approaching it piecemeal spread out throughout your day, but on a schedule so that you force yourself to do it - something like 5 minutes every hour. in a week or two you'll run out of things to do and you can work on the 5 minute rule I originally mentioned.

brimble 5y ago

> An addition to this unrelated to marriage - if it takes 10 seconds, why isn't it already done instead of considering whether to do it or not? "I might re-use it" is in the article. It's a matter of preference, and who's more willing to make A Thing out of it, not objective right and wrong. I, for one, think dishes-in-sink (if they can't fit in the dishwasher but it's also not full enough to run yet, or if it's running, or if it's clean and you're in too big a rush to empty it right that second) is worse for a whole list of reasons, unless you have very limited counter space, but we do it anyway, because I don't care enough to insist on doing it my way, and my wife does. Whatevs. I do wonder how many quietly-very-slightly-suffering spouses there are out there, over this exact issue.

op00to 5y ago

That works for you. I prefer to plan and psych myself up for this stuff. Don't expect everyone to want to handle household tasks exactly on your schedule.

LegitShady 5y ago
that rule governs my actions, not other people's actions, but it does decide how my environment ends up being.