4 ms·
What do you want more of in your life? From what you've typed, it sounds like you want less of people (employer, therapist, girlfriend) hassling you over bein
by afarrell 4y ago
What do you want more of in your life?
From what you've typed, it sounds like you want less of people (employer, therapist, girlfriend) hassling you over being non-proactive. Thats fine, but it is still a reactive desire.
To be more proactive, you need:
1. Some desire that leads you to initiate actions in the face of uncertainty.
2. The take actions which change things about your life even in the face of fear.
Example:
Suppose the answer is "I want more time spent relaxing". You could then make a proposal to switch to a 4-day workweek. You could then take the risk of talking to your employer about it. There is a risk your employer is unhappy about that.
- weavie 4y agoI definitely want to be effective in my work and relationships to the best of my ability. I think I'm happy to be hassled about it. > 1. Some desire that leads you to initiate actions in the face of uncertainty. This is what really hits home for me! I think a lot of what I hide away from is uncertainty. I don't do that essential task at work that I haven't really been asked to do because I am not sure if I can do it correctly or if it is really what is needed (even when on reflection it is blatantly obvious that it is).
- afarrell 4y agoTwo techniques for addressing this: 1. Write down the fear so you can see it clearly and take control of it. 2. Reframe your action as testing a hypothesis. That way, you know you are on the path to learn something specific.
- adamhp 4y agoI have to second number two. Frame the approach as seeking to learn or understand something, always. You're not seeking to "do" something, because you'll end up "succeeding" or "failing". But whether or not you succeed or fail, you'll learn. So make learning the goal.
- weavie 4y agoI really like this approach!