4 ms·

It's a fine line and you have to go with some of it safely. However, there are items that are 100% toxic and as parents we need to decide what those are. Things

by zo1 5y ago

It's a fine line and you have to go with some of it safely. However, there are items that are 100% toxic and as parents we need to decide what those are. Things like rap/hip-hop music as an example, or TikTok. There are some things that just can't be consumed safely by impressionable minds. When they're older they can get into them if they so wish, but my hope is that their brains by that point would at least be mature enough to see how toxic these things are. My job as a parent is not to make the world appear peachy perfect for them, but to give them the tools to deal with the world when they're adults

hans1729 5y ago
This is sarcasm, right? A music genre is categorically toxic? What? They will see TikToks anyway, at latest on the devices of their peers. The only sane course of action is to teach them how to deal with it, not to ignore the consequences of every control-freak-parent we've seen in the last 40 years and cosplay a fantasy-world where those things simply don't exist.
- Gigachad 5y ago
  A lot of it is fine. Most of it is safe if you just treat it as music with no depth. But the culture and people behind it massively glorify crime and violence. So being actually in to hip hop and the people behind it is dangerous for children.
  - micromacrofoot 5y ago
    guess the moral panic has moved on from rock and roll
    - abledon 5y ago
      I didn't hear much classic rock and roll back then about murder gang shit though... lol [1] [1] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWISiHcGoNg https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWISiHcGoNg
      - micromacrofoot 5y ago
        I could probably list at least a dozen punk songs about hating cops without breaking a sweat
        abledon 5y ago
        please do, i would like to contrast it with the opening verses of the example song i gave https://genius.com/21-savage-red-opps-lyrics https://genius.com/21-savage-red-opps-lyrics
        micromacrofoot 5y ago
        There's literally a punk band called "MDC" which most recently stands for "millions of dead cops" Overall there are probably enough anti-police punk songs to fill an entire genre of music. Here are some of the prominent examples I could think of that beyond hating cops, are more directed threats: https://genius.com/Terrorgruppe-all-comic-heroes-are-fascist-pigs-acab-lyrics https://genius.com/Terrorgruppe-all-comic-heroes-are-fascist... "All cops are bastard, barbecue their dicks" https://genius.com/The-dicks-anti-klan-part-one-lyrics https://genius.com/The-dicks-anti-klan-part-one-lyrics “I see that you’re a policeman, I know you’re in the Ku Klux Klan.” https://genius.com/Mdc-lets-kill-all-the-cops-lyrics https://genius.com/Mdc-lets-kill-all-the-cops-lyrics "Lets kill all the cops and throw them in bags" https://genius.com/Choking-victim-crack-rock-steady-lyrics https://genius.com/Choking-victim-crack-rock-steady-lyrics "Are you ready to stop the rotten blue menace? Let’s go kill us a cop"
- abledon 5y ago
  i love my 9 year old nieces and nephews watching CardiB's WAP on repeat, great messages its sending!
filoleg 5y ago
> items that are 100% toxic [...] like rap/hip-hop music Didn't expect to see this take on HN, especially in the age when the library of congress includes hip-hop records and a former president expressed his appreciation towards it openly. Ffs, it is just another form of art. It isn't some vice that they will unfortunately have to eventually be able to work around, like alcohol. There is genuine value in it. Same with Tiktok. It can be used in a toxic way, but also in a way that can genuinely be great. I saw plenty of great DIY projects on tiktok that were fairly educational to me, as well as plenty of great examples of people teaching or creating amazing things. I am not "coping with toxicity" of tiktok when i use it, i am just using it in a way that is controlled and intentional. The only thing I can add at this point is, you are just going through the good old "heavy metal/rock music/Dungeons and Dragons turn our children into devil-worshipping heathens" type of thinking. If you dont have conversations about it and just blanket declare it as evil and ban it in your household, it won't stop your kid from listening to it. It will stop any discussion of it though, which means that they will have to work through it without your guidance on the matter (which has a potential for turning ugly), all while eroding the trust between you all. Saying that as someone who grew up with very overprotective (at quite a few points) parents, (almost) nothing good came out of it at all. You probably don't want your kid to get a motorcycle license just out of spite for you the second they are fully financially independent and realize that you have zero control over them. And then promptly crash on that bike and break a couple of bones within the same year. I didn't even have an itch to ride a bike that badly, but it felt like some internal obligation to myself. No regrets about it whatsoever, I genuinely enjoy riding it now as intrinsically as possible. But it definitely didn't start off this way at all. And that personal example was on a very mild side, from what I've personally observed in my peers. As a former RA in college dorms who had a chance to see a lot of those situations play out, you can pretty much always correctly guess what kind of parenting the freshmen kids who got into ER with alcohol poisoning within the first month of college or dropped out due to partying too hard (or playing videogames all day) had. It was almost always the kind of parenting that you are advocating for.
- raspberry1337 5y ago
  >especially in the age when library of congress includes hip-hop records and a former president expressed his appreciation towards it openly. Is this supposed to be some kind of moral argument? I once asked my classmate what the hiphop song was about becuase I couldn't follow the lyrics (I'm not native to the anglosphere) and he replied "It's about how he drives around and finds women to drug and rape". Apparently it was quite a popular hiphop song!

by zo1 5y ago

hans1729 5y ago

This is sarcasm, right? A music genre is categorically toxic? What? They will see TikToks anyway, at latest on the devices of their peers. The only sane course of action is to teach them how to deal with it, not to ignore the consequences of every control-freak-parent we've seen in the last 40 years and cosplay a fantasy-world where those things simply don't exist.

Gigachad 5y ago
A lot of it is fine. Most of it is safe if you just treat it as music with no depth. But the culture and people behind it massively glorify crime and violence. So being actually in to hip hop and the people behind it is dangerous for children.
- micromacrofoot 5y ago
  guess the moral panic has moved on from rock and roll
  - abledon 5y ago
    I didn't hear much classic rock and roll back then about murder gang shit though... lol [1] [1] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWISiHcGoNg https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWISiHcGoNg
    - micromacrofoot 5y ago
      I could probably list at least a dozen punk songs about hating cops without breaking a sweat
      - abledon 5y ago
        please do, i would like to contrast it with the opening verses of the example song i gave https://genius.com/21-savage-red-opps-lyrics https://genius.com/21-savage-red-opps-lyrics
        micromacrofoot 5y ago
        There's literally a punk band called "MDC" which most recently stands for "millions of dead cops" Overall there are probably enough anti-police punk songs to fill an entire genre of music. Here are some of the prominent examples I could think of that beyond hating cops, are more directed threats: https://genius.com/Terrorgruppe-all-comic-heroes-are-fascist-pigs-acab-lyrics https://genius.com/Terrorgruppe-all-comic-heroes-are-fascist... "All cops are bastard, barbecue their dicks" https://genius.com/The-dicks-anti-klan-part-one-lyrics https://genius.com/The-dicks-anti-klan-part-one-lyrics “I see that you’re a policeman, I know you’re in the Ku Klux Klan.” https://genius.com/Mdc-lets-kill-all-the-cops-lyrics https://genius.com/Mdc-lets-kill-all-the-cops-lyrics "Lets kill all the cops and throw them in bags" https://genius.com/Choking-victim-crack-rock-steady-lyrics https://genius.com/Choking-victim-crack-rock-steady-lyrics "Are you ready to stop the rotten blue menace? Let’s go kill us a cop"
abledon 5y ago
i love my 9 year old nieces and nephews watching CardiB's WAP on repeat, great messages its sending!

filoleg 5y ago

> items that are 100% toxic [...] like rap/hip-hop music Didn't expect to see this take on HN, especially in the age when the library of congress includes hip-hop records and a former president expressed his appreciation towards it openly. Ffs, it is just another form of art. It isn't some vice that they will unfortunately have to eventually be able to work around, like alcohol. There is genuine value in it. Same with Tiktok. It can be used in a toxic way, but also in a way that can genuinely be great. I saw plenty of great DIY projects on tiktok that were fairly educational to me, as well as plenty of great examples of people teaching or creating amazing things. I am not "coping with toxicity" of tiktok when i use it, i am just using it in a way that is controlled and intentional. The only thing I can add at this point is, you are just going through the good old "heavy metal/rock music/Dungeons and Dragons turn our children into devil-worshipping heathens" type of thinking. If you dont have conversations about it and just blanket declare it as evil and ban it in your household, it won't stop your kid from listening to it. It will stop any discussion of it though, which means that they will have to work through it without your guidance on the matter (which has a potential for turning ugly), all while eroding the trust between you all. Saying that as someone who grew up with very overprotective (at quite a few points) parents, (almost) nothing good came out of it at all. You probably don't want your kid to get a motorcycle license just out of spite for you the second they are fully financially independent and realize that you have zero control over them. And then promptly crash on that bike and break a couple of bones within the same year. I didn't even have an itch to ride a bike that badly, but it felt like some internal obligation to myself. No regrets about it whatsoever, I genuinely enjoy riding it now as intrinsically as possible. But it definitely didn't start off this way at all. And that personal example was on a very mild side, from what I've personally observed in my peers. As a former RA in college dorms who had a chance to see a lot of those situations play out, you can pretty much always correctly guess what kind of parenting the freshmen kids who got into ER with alcohol poisoning within the first month of college or dropped out due to partying too hard (or playing videogames all day) had. It was almost always the kind of parenting that you are advocating for.

raspberry1337 5y ago
>especially in the age when library of congress includes hip-hop records and a former president expressed his appreciation towards it openly. Is this supposed to be some kind of moral argument? I once asked my classmate what the hiphop song was about becuase I couldn't follow the lyrics (I'm not native to the anglosphere) and he replied "It's about how he drives around and finds women to drug and rape". Apparently it was quite a popular hiphop song!