Most other commenters hit nailed it, it sounds like you're being a little overly self-critical. I always say it took me 2 years to start getting useful in codi

Most other commenters hit nailed it, it sounds like you're being a little overly self-critical. I always say it took me 2 years to start getting useful in coding, and after those 2 years it only took a couple years for me to become a lead engineer, mentoring junior people myself. For some of us, once it clicks you really start gaining momentum. As far as actionable advice goes, it sounds like you should be documenting most of the process things you're unaware of. This acts as a reference doc for you while you do things (checklists help avoid dumb mistakes, if you find that being common), an onboarding tool for future hires, and a consensus mechanism for your team.