> I got my first swe job this past August [...] I have now been on this team for 8 months, and I made 2 costly mistake back-to-back that is pushing back the rel

> I got my first swe job this past August [...] I have now been on this team for 8 months, and I made 2 costly mistake back-to-back that is pushing back the release of a production feature by a while month at this point. > I was sometimes assigned stories no one else on the team had done anything like before, so at times I couldn't even ask the senior devs for help. > my manager has been gone since December > I have been on the team too long to ask any basic questions, one of the senior engineers even pointed out they shouldn't be helping me with certain processes at this point. To summarize: you have no prior work experience, you're assigned tickets beyond your abilities, management is MIA, your team doesn't support you, and people make you feel bad for trying to improve. It's not you, friend. As a junior engineer, a lot of responsibility falls on your environment to help you grow and gain more independence in your day-to-day problem solving. Your environment is demonstrably not living up to that obligation, and they should not have signed themselves up for it if they weren't prepared for it. I've been on teams that have been similarly inhospitable to juniors. Several of us went out of our way to provide that support, because it's necessary. But nobody higher up had planned for that need, so our schedule was impacted anyway. It's not you. Try to look for other teams (possibly within your current company!) that are willing and able to nurture your growth. Juniors aren't independent; that's almost definitionally the difference between a junior and a senior. Cut yourself some slack, and try to expect more of your working environment.