4 ms·

OP, I'd really, really recommend that you are able to answer these questions before you start projecting assumptions, wishes, or expected failure onto a pre-sch

OP, I'd really, really recommend that you are able to answer these questions before you start projecting assumptions, wishes, or expected failure onto a pre-schooler: - are you happy, right now? - are you living a life that you chose? - what makes you happy - what makes a live "well-lived"? I have this growing pit in my stomach right now that I just can't shake. Your IQ is high and you make a ton of money... and I doubt I'd trade places with you for any material possession on this Earth. You have a daughter to help guide through the world and you're on HN having an unspecified anxiety about a capricious measurement, of a 4 year old, that is widely accepted by thoughtful folks to be a largely unuseful metric. I suspect that maybe you're wondering about the legitimacy of those tests, questioning your own results, wondering what this means for her... and I really hope you can see that how you process this is going to affect how you treat her. That is going to affect her so much more than an IQ test done at 4, it's really worrisome to me that you can't see the forest for the trees. I always feel most loved by my parent, and most at peace with my path to find happiness in life, when they tell me "Whatever, we just want you to be happy.". It's what they said when I came out. It's what they said when I stepped back from a promising career because despite... the exceptional status and money I had... I was being under-valued, disrespected and made to do thoughtless techno-capital work. The self-doubt I already had from societal expectations would've crushed me if they had leaned into it and admonished me. I hope in your heart you realize that helping your daughter navigate life and find happiness is far more important than projecting your unexamined internalized expectations onto her.

perplexedparent 5y ago
> realize that helping your daughter navigate life and find happiness That's precisely what I'm working on here. There are countless guides for "average parents with gifted child." There are no guides for "gifted parents with average child".
- mediumiqsad 5y ago
  You raise them like any other child. I've never seen a question like this.
- smoldesu 5y ago
  This thread makes me irrationally angry. Labeling yourself as "the gifted one" is such an unbelievably absent-minded opener and toxic mindset to raise a child on, but your incessant infatuation with your daughter being a mirror image of your own capabilities is, quite frankly, deranged. What's the problem with her? Oh, she's normal? What a pity! Everyone, come gawk at this guy's normal child! Not only did you manage to thwart the chance of horrifying congenital disease or disfigurement, she didn't even get the genius genes! Completely tone-deaf contributions like this make me hate HN more by the day. What's stopping you from just enjoying life with your daughter, spending time with your growing family, and fostering understanding? Maybe you both like the same episodes of Star Trek, or have the same taste in 90s music. Who knows! Imagine her reading this in 10 years, working through the most difficult portion of her academic life. Do you think it would inspire confidence in her? Do you think it would make her appreciate you as a parent? Do you think she'd find greater respect for you knowing that you tried turning her into... yourself? This whole thread is like someone watched Gattica but their only thought was "the gene editing part was pretty cool I guess". It burns me up. I have no right to tell you how to live your life, but I should hope you have the same respect for your own kin.

perplexedparent 5y ago

> realize that helping your daughter navigate life and find happiness That's precisely what I'm working on here. There are countless guides for "average parents with gifted child." There are no guides for "gifted parents with average child".

mediumiqsad 5y ago
You raise them like any other child. I've never seen a question like this.
smoldesu 5y ago
This thread makes me irrationally angry. Labeling yourself as "the gifted one" is such an unbelievably absent-minded opener and toxic mindset to raise a child on, but your incessant infatuation with your daughter being a mirror image of your own capabilities is, quite frankly, deranged. What's the problem with her? Oh, she's normal? What a pity! Everyone, come gawk at this guy's normal child! Not only did you manage to thwart the chance of horrifying congenital disease or disfigurement, she didn't even get the genius genes! Completely tone-deaf contributions like this make me hate HN more by the day. What's stopping you from just enjoying life with your daughter, spending time with your growing family, and fostering understanding? Maybe you both like the same episodes of Star Trek, or have the same taste in 90s music. Who knows! Imagine her reading this in 10 years, working through the most difficult portion of her academic life. Do you think it would inspire confidence in her? Do you think it would make her appreciate you as a parent? Do you think she'd find greater respect for you knowing that you tried turning her into... yourself? This whole thread is like someone watched Gattica but their only thought was "the gene editing part was pretty cool I guess". It burns me up. I have no right to tell you how to live your life, but I should hope you have the same respect for your own kin.