5 ms·
> Is it possible to have a "healthy" amount of playing? Let's say just a couple of hours in the weekends? Yes, depending on the individual. I relate to your st
by meristohm 5y ago
> Is it possible to have a "healthy" amount of playing? Let's say just a couple of hours in the weekends?
Yes, depending on the individual. I relate to your story, and my advice to my past self, now that I've practice going longer without things I feel compelled to do (consuming alcohol, caffeine, mindlessly eating food to avoid emotions), is to intentionally (or accidentally, but that needs luck) take a break to unhook the brainstem and gain perspective. Sounds like you've done that (four months off). In my case, the urge to get lost in videogame-land is annual, and I'm able to enjoy gaming again, sometimes teetering on the brink of the event horizon, with the understanding that if I burn hot I'll burn out and move on. This happened recently; played intensely for a month, accepting the book will end and I'll be free again, and enjoying the journey, no regrets (except the twinge of "I could have read so many books instead", countered by "my day job is so exhausting, this indulgence is maintenance-mode paving the way for growth").
Regarding feeling of flow, Blindboy spoke of it somewhat recently on his podcast (he also streams himself composing music while playing Red Dead Redemption 2, showing the audience his creative process and a healthier flow-state), noting that while videogames give us a sense of accomplishment it is too often a hollow one, far surpassed by creative flow. Minecraft and the like are exceptions, perhaps? I have enjoyable memories of the places I've made in that game.
Setting barriers for myself, as you've done, has been helpful, but I may not respect myself enough to have the barriers be fully effective--if I'm not pausing and choosing my next steps wisely, I can easily fall in.
It has taken me years to have the healthier view I have now, and I have a lot of work yet to do (not obligatory to improve, but the path helps me have a sense of meaning). Guidance from childhood friends, who I keep in touch with via games, has helped. For awhile I'd quit all videogames except for multiplayer with them, so it's a bit messy but we can talk about the challenges and our friendship is deeper than gaming, so that helps.
Practicing breathing (inspired by Breath, by James Nestor) has helped me make better choices in the moment. Still a work in progress.
Doing one thing at a time helps, too; sometimes I feel the pull of wanting to consume media while cleaning up after dinner, and I decide not to, and I thank myself for it afterwards.
I hope this ramble helps. Good luck!