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I can relate so much so much with this post, but not because of lack of opportunity. Quite the contrary, I actually won a green card lottery, came from SEA, wor

I can relate so much so much with this post, but not because of lack of opportunity. Quite the contrary, I actually won a green card lottery, came from SEA, work as a SWE with FAANG salary. Now I live in NYC, married to a wife (also not from US, but also not from my country), sponsored her to live here with me. Now I am torn, or specifically, we are torn. Our heart is in 3 different countries. These two countries (non US ones) do not recognize dual citizenship, so if we do get US citizenship so that we can leave US and live in other countries, we have to be extra careful. Even when these 2 countries do dual citizenship, the challenge still exists. First, I do speak my wife's country of origin language, though not fluent. My wife doesn't speak my country of origin language. We both speak English fluently though. What should our kids learn? We currently don't have kids but are trying to. We would need to prioritize language learning for our kids more than anything else. We want our kids to be born here, in the US, and they will have automatically 3 citizenships at birth, until they have to choose when they turn 18. I wonder how they will feel if we constantly move around like this? I know military kids and missionary kids feel the same way. On the other hand, if we live US, and work in my country, my salary probably won't be as good as US salary, but if in the future our kids want US education, I won't be able to afford it. Same with my wife's country as well. The reason why I am pondering all of these now, and I've been living in the US for 10 years is because, once an immigrant, always immigrant at heart. US has its good things of course, but other countries as well, and most importantly, family. Family, friends, in which we both still have strong ties with our origin country. Time passes, our families and friends aren't getting younger. Money is useless to us, having combined household income of around $500k, but we don't enjoy our money. What's use is money if we can't enjoy it with our friends and families. We live modestly, never go into lavish vacation or lavish things. My wife country is a 1st world East Asian country. My country of origin is a 3rd world SEA country. I've seen that my country is getting better and better, and there are many many, many opportunities back there. Even people from 1st world countries are retiring and creating companies here. 3 years ago I visited, I'd never imagine in the middle of nowhere while I was eating random street food, 2 foreigners spoke in their foreign language next to me. How, when did this happen. So much growth has happened. I don't know, I'm just sharing here. I think our plan is, we want to make as much money as possible now, and see in 5 years what will happen.

reducesuffering 5y ago
> We would need to prioritize language learning for our kids more than anything else. We want our kids to be born here, in the US, and they will have automatically 3 citizenships at birth, until they have to choose when they turn 18. I wonder how they will feel if we constantly move around like this? Language shouldn't be a problem. You can easily speak to your children in your origin language, your wife her's, and your kids will speak three languages by the time they're 7. However, you should the country to stay in for the next 13 years by the time the kid is 5. Most people that grew up moving around often, breaking childhood friendships, regret that they had to. You've been living in the US for 10 years, and it's a neutral halfway point for you and your wife. Unless she is very excited about moving to your origin country, where she will struggle to speak the language and fit in, vice-versa with you and her country, I think living out your lives in the US and giving them an upper middle class US upbringing is the best thing you can do for you and them, from my American 3rd person perspective. Typically, you'll end up making yearly multi-week trips back to the origin countries for relative visiting with your kids.

reducesuffering 5y ago

> We would need to prioritize language learning for our kids more than anything else. We want our kids to be born here, in the US, and they will have automatically 3 citizenships at birth, until they have to choose when they turn 18. I wonder how they will feel if we constantly move around like this? Language shouldn't be a problem. You can easily speak to your children in your origin language, your wife her's, and your kids will speak three languages by the time they're 7. However, you should the country to stay in for the next 13 years by the time the kid is 5. Most people that grew up moving around often, breaking childhood friendships, regret that they had to. You've been living in the US for 10 years, and it's a neutral halfway point for you and your wife. Unless she is very excited about moving to your origin country, where she will struggle to speak the language and fit in, vice-versa with you and her country, I think living out your lives in the US and giving them an upper middle class US upbringing is the best thing you can do for you and them, from my American 3rd person perspective. Typically, you'll end up making yearly multi-week trips back to the origin countries for relative visiting with your kids.