5 ms·

I lie to my kids all the time (about unimportant stuff). I make the lie outragous and if they seem to take me seriously I pile on. I say I'm a disc golf world c

by progre 5y ago

I lie to my kids all the time (about unimportant stuff). I make the lie outragous and if they seem to take me seriously I pile on. I say I'm a disc golf world champion (we own no frisbees). They now try to indipendently verify everything they hear.

naveen99 5y ago
तू फेंक, में लपेट ता हूँ underused comedy.
smeej 5y ago
My dad did this back in the '90s when things were harder to verify, and all it did was make adult me realize he can't be trusted to tell the truth about anything, as long as he decides it doesn't really matter. And rarely do we agree about what matters. Just a word of caution about how what seems fun now, when kids are cute and gullible, might come back to bite you 20+ years later.
- nicolas_t 5y ago
  As a counterpoint my dad did this, but would employ the same method and pile on if I seemed to believe it until eventually he'd tell me. However, I don't think he ever let me believe something that was untrue more than a few hours without correcting me.
- progre 5y ago
  Nah, it's a game, training them for when its for real. Like how I sometimes pretend to forget the way home from the library and have my kids give me directions home while I'm driving. This is how they learn to actually pay attention to where they are.
  - dudeman13 5y ago
    It's not a game if you can't choose to stop playing it. People just don't respect kids. Would you enjoy that game with other adults? Even if no matter the situation they wouldn't give a shit if you wanted to stop playing it or not? Not being able to trust anyone ever to be acting in good faith and be honest is one of the reasons why we can't have nice things.
    - progre 5y ago
      I don't respect my kids? You don't know shit. Anyway, "other adults" lie all the time. Every employer I ever had has lied one time or another. This is important information. Bringing kids up into some fairies and unicorn fantasy where everything is unthinkingly accepted, thats disrespecting children
      - dudeman13 5y ago
        >Anyway, "other adults" lie all the time Yes, and if this is their standard modus operandi the healthy thing to do, if possible, is getting rid of them from your life. Are you gonna be happy when your kids start playing the game with you? When they are the ones unilaterally deciding what matters and what doesn't? If the answer is "no" then you aren't respecting them as individuals capable of learning, thought and action. And I got the feeling you won't be happy when they do it with you. When you constantly play games like that you are also establishing that you can never be trusted, even if they think it matters.
      - drooby 5y ago
        You don’t have to lie to your children to teach them how to think critically about the world. Nor do the actions of other adults necessarily make lying okay. You may even be doing your children a disservice by teaching them that lying is okay or humorous. I know, I know. I don’t know you at all.. but yes, what your saying does sound like it may be disrespectful to be honest.
  - smeej 5y ago
    I'm 100% sure my dad believed then and would defend now that it was just a game. Games aren't fun when you don't know someone's playing with you and you're trying to be serious. YMMV, and I hope it does. I'm just providing the anecdote that I'm not in touch with my dad anymore, and dishonesty that at least looked a lot like what you're describing is a significant part of the reason.
  - smusamashah 5y ago
    You dont have to lie to them to train them in anything. I sincerely believe you have forgotten what it is like being a kid and how it feels when elders tell you something which isn't truth. I remember being a kid. I don't lie to kids, not intentionally. They can be very easily mislead and lying feels so wrong for this reason alone. I don't trust elders in family who lied or use to lie to me when I was a kid and I found out it was a lie at that time. That image of them lying has stayed. To train them about finding way back home you can just ask them to lead you home. It will make them feel good that their parent is trusting them to take them home. Make it their responsibility. Go wherever your kids lead you to. It will be more fun than lying. Same can be done for almost anything else you think you should lie about to teach them.
- AlwaysRock 5y ago
  I thought my uncle was a dentist (he isnt, he does HVAC work) for 15 years because he lied to make me feel comfortable when he pulled a baby tooth of mine that was hanging on by a thread. It didnt have any negative impacts on my life but small silly lies certainly could.
- silvestrov 5y ago
  Much better to play "2 truths, 1 lie" games as it is then explicit when there is a lie and when the kids can trust you.
mjklin 5y ago
You may enjoy the story “Best Teacher I Ever Had” by David Owen: https://www.comp.nus.edu.sg/~tantc/cattywampus.html https://www.comp.nus.edu.sg/~tantc/cattywampus.html
memish 5y ago
Does Santa Claus serve this function at scale? Showing how humans can maintain a lie in collective, distributed fashion?
samhyde69 5y ago
I wish more people would discover the power of this technique. But ultimately, this is a fool's errand -- people who say they don't lie are almost always lying. Given how much of our brains have evolved to evince the hidden intentions of others, the result of this cat-and-mouse game requires lying to oneself first so as to more effectively convince others. Just look at any conversation about "equality." Through their revealed preferences you can see that almost no one really believes in it but for their socioeconomic well-being they managed to convince themselves of it. People will say "we moved for the schools" because they don't have the intellectual integrity and moral courage to say "we moved to avoid Africans and, to a lesser extent, Hispanics". The proliferation of BLM signage in these same areas is simply a testament to the arising false consciousness, as is the scorn they heap on the poorer members of their own cohort who cannot afford to avoid the Diversity Strenf they claim to cherish. What an unfortunate way to go through life. TLDR; how do you plan to not lie to your kids when you can't stop lying to yourself?

by progre 5y ago

naveen99 5y ago

तू फेंक, में लपेट ता हूँ underused comedy.

smeej 5y ago

My dad did this back in the '90s when things were harder to verify, and all it did was make adult me realize he can't be trusted to tell the truth about anything, as long as he decides it doesn't really matter. And rarely do we agree about what matters. Just a word of caution about how what seems fun now, when kids are cute and gullible, might come back to bite you 20+ years later.

nicolas_t 5y ago
As a counterpoint my dad did this, but would employ the same method and pile on if I seemed to believe it until eventually he'd tell me. However, I don't think he ever let me believe something that was untrue more than a few hours without correcting me.
progre 5y ago
Nah, it's a game, training them for when its for real. Like how I sometimes pretend to forget the way home from the library and have my kids give me directions home while I'm driving. This is how they learn to actually pay attention to where they are.
- dudeman13 5y ago
  It's not a game if you can't choose to stop playing it. People just don't respect kids. Would you enjoy that game with other adults? Even if no matter the situation they wouldn't give a shit if you wanted to stop playing it or not? Not being able to trust anyone ever to be acting in good faith and be honest is one of the reasons why we can't have nice things.
  - progre 5y ago
    I don't respect my kids? You don't know shit. Anyway, "other adults" lie all the time. Every employer I ever had has lied one time or another. This is important information. Bringing kids up into some fairies and unicorn fantasy where everything is unthinkingly accepted, thats disrespecting children
    - dudeman13 5y ago
      >Anyway, "other adults" lie all the time Yes, and if this is their standard modus operandi the healthy thing to do, if possible, is getting rid of them from your life. Are you gonna be happy when your kids start playing the game with you? When they are the ones unilaterally deciding what matters and what doesn't? If the answer is "no" then you aren't respecting them as individuals capable of learning, thought and action. And I got the feeling you won't be happy when they do it with you. When you constantly play games like that you are also establishing that you can never be trusted, even if they think it matters.
    - drooby 5y ago
      You don’t have to lie to your children to teach them how to think critically about the world. Nor do the actions of other adults necessarily make lying okay. You may even be doing your children a disservice by teaching them that lying is okay or humorous. I know, I know. I don’t know you at all.. but yes, what your saying does sound like it may be disrespectful to be honest.
- smeej 5y ago
  I'm 100% sure my dad believed then and would defend now that it was just a game. Games aren't fun when you don't know someone's playing with you and you're trying to be serious. YMMV, and I hope it does. I'm just providing the anecdote that I'm not in touch with my dad anymore, and dishonesty that at least looked a lot like what you're describing is a significant part of the reason.
- smusamashah 5y ago
  You dont have to lie to them to train them in anything. I sincerely believe you have forgotten what it is like being a kid and how it feels when elders tell you something which isn't truth. I remember being a kid. I don't lie to kids, not intentionally. They can be very easily mislead and lying feels so wrong for this reason alone. I don't trust elders in family who lied or use to lie to me when I was a kid and I found out it was a lie at that time. That image of them lying has stayed. To train them about finding way back home you can just ask them to lead you home. It will make them feel good that their parent is trusting them to take them home. Make it their responsibility. Go wherever your kids lead you to. It will be more fun than lying. Same can be done for almost anything else you think you should lie about to teach them.
AlwaysRock 5y ago
I thought my uncle was a dentist (he isnt, he does HVAC work) for 15 years because he lied to make me feel comfortable when he pulled a baby tooth of mine that was hanging on by a thread. It didnt have any negative impacts on my life but small silly lies certainly could.
silvestrov 5y ago
Much better to play "2 truths, 1 lie" games as it is then explicit when there is a lie and when the kids can trust you.

mjklin 5y ago

You may enjoy the story “Best Teacher I Ever Had” by David Owen: https://www.comp.nus.edu.sg/~tantc/cattywampus.html https://www.comp.nus.edu.sg/~tantc/cattywampus.html

memish 5y ago

Does Santa Claus serve this function at scale? Showing how humans can maintain a lie in collective, distributed fashion?

samhyde69 5y ago

I wish more people would discover the power of this technique. But ultimately, this is a fool's errand -- people who say they don't lie are almost always lying. Given how much of our brains have evolved to evince the hidden intentions of others, the result of this cat-and-mouse game requires lying to oneself first so as to more effectively convince others. Just look at any conversation about "equality." Through their revealed preferences you can see that almost no one really believes in it but for their socioeconomic well-being they managed to convince themselves of it. People will say "we moved for the schools" because they don't have the intellectual integrity and moral courage to say "we moved to avoid Africans and, to a lesser extent, Hispanics". The proliferation of BLM signage in these same areas is simply a testament to the arising false consciousness, as is the scorn they heap on the poorer members of their own cohort who cannot afford to avoid the Diversity Strenf they claim to cherish. What an unfortunate way to go through life. TLDR; how do you plan to not lie to your kids when you can't stop lying to yourself?