4 ms·

How do you tell a 5 or 6yo why mommy/daddy left? Almost anything you say there outside of death is a lie.

hypertele-Xii 5y ago
Mommy and daddy failed to agree on such fundamental aspects of living together that they couldn't, anymore.
Hackbraten 5y ago
If they’re old enough to ask that question, they’re old enough to know a honest answer. “You remember how Mommy used to be in so much pain? That was her (name of sickness). It can no longer hurt her, and the pain is finally over for her. The sad part is that Mommy’s body lost the struggle with (name of sickness). That’s why she is no longer with us now.“ “So, is Mommy dead?” “Yes, my dear. The (name of sickness) was just too strong in the end. The doctors worked so hard and did everything they could. In the end, even they weren’t able to help Mommy. We’re going to be very sad for a long time and that’s going to be tough for us. But you’re not alone, we’re going to get help wherever we can, and we’ll be pulling through that sad time together.”
- Freak_NL 5y ago
  Experts recommend broaching such topics as young as possible. Recently such a case was discussed in a question/answer column in a Dutch national newspaper where two experts answer such dilemmas. “When do you tell a child that their father isn't their biological parent?” was that week's question, and the answer was a unanimous “As soon as possible”. Don't hide it, don't make a big deal out of it; just explain it in terms a child can understand. Keep it hidden, and the moment they learn the truth (which inevitably won't be through their parents) you will have to deal with very strong feelings of betrayal and rejection that could have been avoided. It seems that the younger children are, the more readily they can just accept such facts. Keeping secrets will inevitably backfire and cause trust issues.
- dexterdog 5y ago
  I wasn't talking about death as a reason for leaving. I was talking about all other reasons.

Mommy and daddy failed to agree on such fundamental aspects of living together that they couldn't, anymore.

If they’re old enough to ask that question, they’re old enough to know a honest answer. “You remember how Mommy used to be in so much pain? That was her (name of sickness). It can no longer hurt her, and the pain is finally over for her. The sad part is that Mommy’s body lost the struggle with (name of sickness). That’s why she is no longer with us now.“ “So, is Mommy dead?” “Yes, my dear. The (name of sickness) was just too strong in the end. The doctors worked so hard and did everything they could. In the end, even they weren’t able to help Mommy. We’re going to be very sad for a long time and that’s going to be tough for us. But you’re not alone, we’re going to get help wherever we can, and we’ll be pulling through that sad time together.”

Freak_NL 5y ago
Experts recommend broaching such topics as young as possible. Recently such a case was discussed in a question/answer column in a Dutch national newspaper where two experts answer such dilemmas. “When do you tell a child that their father isn't their biological parent?” was that week's question, and the answer was a unanimous “As soon as possible”. Don't hide it, don't make a big deal out of it; just explain it in terms a child can understand. Keep it hidden, and the moment they learn the truth (which inevitably won't be through their parents) you will have to deal with very strong feelings of betrayal and rejection that could have been avoided. It seems that the younger children are, the more readily they can just accept such facts. Keeping secrets will inevitably backfire and cause trust issues.
dexterdog 5y ago
I wasn't talking about death as a reason for leaving. I was talking about all other reasons.