5 ms·
I think honesty is a pretty good general policy, but I've also found that kids will find weird things to be hurt by, whether you tell the truth or lie. Because
by asdfasgasdgasdg 5y ago
I think honesty is a pretty good general policy, but I've also found that kids will find weird things to be hurt by, whether you tell the truth or lie. Because they're still developing, and because adults do that too.
I'm sure this guy is not doing this, and he has a lot of other reasons for wanting to be honest. However, I will say that whether a child is aggrieved by an action of yours should be given due weight. If your child rarely behaves like this, then perhaps it's a stronger signal. On the other hand if your child thinks that failing to cut the crust off the bread is right next to murder in the ten commandments, then you have to take that into account as well.
- klipt 5y ago> failing to cut the crust off the bread Is this an autism/sensory issues thing, or just an American thing? I'm assuming most cultures don't bother cutting off bread crusts.
- maccard 5y agoNot OP but I would imagibe its just an example of a nornal tantrum of a young child.
- watwut 5y agoSmall kids sometimes have random temporary preferences they make big deal of. Pretty often uncoprehensible.
- Brybry 5y agoSometimes it's also because we change as adults and kids lack the experience to properly communicate why they're upset. I remember I had battles with my parents over certain foods that legitimately tasted awful to me as a kid and made me gag (and then later as an adult some of those foods taste fine). For some kids it's probably the normal tantrum/boundary testing but I would not be surprised if for some kids they have a significantly different eating experience with even something simple like bread crust. Even for adults, consider that cilantro/coriander tastes like soap for some people. And that's just one easy small example where we're pretty sure we know what gene causes it.
- asdfasgasdgasdg 5y agoSome picky eaters don't like bread crusts. I swore I would never be the guy who cuts them off, but let's just say that no plan survives the enemy.
- gnicholas 5y agoThis is unfortunately a ‘contagious’ preference. My kid never complained about bread crust or vegetables until she started school, where she was exposed to other kids with picky preferences.
- asdfasgasdgasdg 5y agoFortunately, it is mostly temporary. I hated crusts as a child but now adore them.
- operator-name 5y agoAs a naive non parent I'd like your opinion here. I can see the truth in "children are developing and during that development they're more suseptable to be hurt by things we consider arbitrary as an adult", but the article raises the big question of what is the responsibility of the parent here? Children may be more or less sensitive, but doesn't the core thesis of the article, that it is the responsibility of a parent to be honest (+open and truthful) a good basis? Isn't that kind of relationship an excellent basis and foundation for the child when approaching all other relationships?
- asdfasgasdgasdg 5y agoFor sure, a relationship of honesty and trust is a good default. And I'm not saying he shouldn't do that. However, one thing that struck me about the article is how hard he took his daughter's disappointment. On the one hand, I'm familiar with that feeling, because I hate disappointing my own children. On the other hand, I've also recognized the inevitability of this, because even without encouragement, the kids form unwarranted expectations are disappointed somewhat routinely.
- operator-name 5y agoThank you, that's very informative.