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>> but I prefer to fill my social needs outside of work This doesn’t get enough airtime in the whole remote vs in-office debate IMO. I wish this topic was brou

>> but I prefer to fill my social needs outside of work This doesn’t get enough airtime in the whole remote vs in-office debate IMO. I wish this topic was brought up more often because a diverse network of friends is a very special thing in life.

Tainnor 5y ago
It gets way too much airtime. Every time someone complains that they miss their coworkers, someone just has to comment that "you should make friends outside your workplace" or, worse, that it's "unprofessional" to socialise at work. As if those two things were mutually incompatible. You can have friends outside of work (some of them may even be former colleagues!) and you can still be friendly with your coworkers and enjoy seeing them.
- pc86 5y ago
  I am definitely more on this side of the fence. Fill your social calendar however you want to fill your social calendar. But social media, and HN in particular, is filled with people saying that you should basically only contact your coworkers via work channels for work purposes during work time and anything else is wrong or rude and is bad and you should feel bad.
SamuelAdams 5y ago
Agreed. I’m curious why young, fresh out of college grads who move across country (and have few / no friends in the new local area) make it their employers responsibility to foster friendships? Don’t get me wrong - it’s great to have genuine friendships with your coworkers. You work better together and have strong recommendations for the next job or have strong referrals to other companies when your friends leave. At the same time though your employer is not your parents. The best thing they can do is respect a healthy work life balance and give you time so that you can establish your own friendships.
- kayodelycaon 5y ago
  > I’m curious why young, fresh out of college grads who move across country (and have few / no friends in the new local area) make it their employers responsibility to foster friendships? Schools provide an easy atmosphere to develop friendships without having to look too hard. College does not help with this. I suspect some of them don't know how to make friends on their own. Note: This is from the perspective of someone who didn't have more than one friend as a kid at any time.
- michaelt 5y ago
  > I’m curious why young, fresh out of college grads [...] make it their employers responsibility to foster friendships? Personally, I've never heard anyone explicitly say it's their employer's responsibility. But if my employer occasionally offers me the option to leave the office early and go drinking at their expense, while getting paid? Nobody's going to oppose having the option.
  - bluefirebrand 5y ago
    As long as I can also choose to leave the office early and not go drinking, I have no problem with that. But god forbid anyone just want to put in their time and go home, and not socialize with their coworkers after hours. How anti social of me. I clearly am not a team player.
AlwaysRock 5y ago
The absolute worst to me is team scheduled events that go past 5. Like if you want team mandated bonding, plan for it in the sprint, schedule time for it, and make it a part of the work day. If I'm expected to stay to 6 or 7 or 8 to hangout with co workers AND were going to have to work harder the next day to make up for that lost time then you are actually hurting the team, not helping.

Tainnor 5y ago

It gets way too much airtime. Every time someone complains that they miss their coworkers, someone just has to comment that "you should make friends outside your workplace" or, worse, that it's "unprofessional" to socialise at work. As if those two things were mutually incompatible. You can have friends outside of work (some of them may even be former colleagues!) and you can still be friendly with your coworkers and enjoy seeing them.

pc86 5y ago
I am definitely more on this side of the fence. Fill your social calendar however you want to fill your social calendar. But social media, and HN in particular, is filled with people saying that you should basically only contact your coworkers via work channels for work purposes during work time and anything else is wrong or rude and is bad and you should feel bad.

SamuelAdams 5y ago

Agreed. I’m curious why young, fresh out of college grads who move across country (and have few / no friends in the new local area) make it their employers responsibility to foster friendships? Don’t get me wrong - it’s great to have genuine friendships with your coworkers. You work better together and have strong recommendations for the next job or have strong referrals to other companies when your friends leave. At the same time though your employer is not your parents. The best thing they can do is respect a healthy work life balance and give you time so that you can establish your own friendships.

kayodelycaon 5y ago
> I’m curious why young, fresh out of college grads who move across country (and have few / no friends in the new local area) make it their employers responsibility to foster friendships? Schools provide an easy atmosphere to develop friendships without having to look too hard. College does not help with this. I suspect some of them don't know how to make friends on their own. Note: This is from the perspective of someone who didn't have more than one friend as a kid at any time.
michaelt 5y ago
> I’m curious why young, fresh out of college grads [...] make it their employers responsibility to foster friendships? Personally, I've never heard anyone explicitly say it's their employer's responsibility. But if my employer occasionally offers me the option to leave the office early and go drinking at their expense, while getting paid? Nobody's going to oppose having the option.
- bluefirebrand 5y ago
  As long as I can also choose to leave the office early and not go drinking, I have no problem with that. But god forbid anyone just want to put in their time and go home, and not socialize with their coworkers after hours. How anti social of me. I clearly am not a team player.

AlwaysRock 5y ago

The absolute worst to me is team scheduled events that go past 5. Like if you want team mandated bonding, plan for it in the sprint, schedule time for it, and make it a part of the work day. If I'm expected to stay to 6 or 7 or 8 to hangout with co workers AND were going to have to work harder the next day to make up for that lost time then you are actually hurting the team, not helping.