4 ms·

I don't know why you are being downvoted, as I find your reasoning valid. My SO was never keen on the idea of having children. I thought I wanted to have child

I don't know why you are being downvoted, as I find your reasoning valid. My SO was never keen on the idea of having children. I thought I wanted to have children 5 years ago, but it was really just a default society behavior, not something I had stopped to think. When I had no more excuses to delay having kids (healthy, married, stable job, two real estate properties) I really gave it a thought and concluded I didn't want to. I seriously touched the topic with my SO and told her I'd understand if she would leave me, but she said she was relieved by my decision because she also didn't want to have children. What you said was one of the reasons "in favor" of having children, because you are right, life with children gets complicated in many senses but also gets simpler at least in life purpose. You don't need to "kill" time anymore for decades. But I concluded at least for me, it was not a strong enough reason to have children.

temp8964 5y ago
Thanks. It's a serious answer. Seriously. If you don't have kids, and not extremely enthusiastic about your work, you will end up having a life purpose problem. Having kids really solves that. I do feel raising kids well is the most valuable thing I do with my life. Of course I am just a regular guy with a professional job which I do love, but not extremely successfully or something. You will understand more when you get older. Just think what you will do when you are 40, 50, 60 years old.
- Volrath89 5y ago
  Yes! I am also a regular guy, I actually feel a bit below average reading HN, since I live in Germany and don't earn that much compared to US or even UK salaries. But I also don't spend a lot :) I have many (attainable) goals for when I hit 40, one of them is to be totally financially independent (passive sources of income > monthly expenses). After that I'd love to try a different industry altogether from tech, very likely starting a small, "boring" but low risk business. Not with the goal of getting rich of course. Just because I don't see myself in the tech treadmill my entire life. But yes what to do in my old age was a big consideration for me when I pondered about having children and my conclusion was that it was not worth to invest so much resources (time and money) into children in the present when I'm still young and with energy, just for having something to do 20 years in the future. Also take into account children will eventually leave home so I'd still be on my own when I'm 60 and older, with or without children. I have great respect for people that have children and I actually think me and my SO are selfish and probably narcissists. But we only have one life and having children is not a decision you can undo.

temp8964 5y ago

Thanks. It's a serious answer. Seriously. If you don't have kids, and not extremely enthusiastic about your work, you will end up having a life purpose problem. Having kids really solves that. I do feel raising kids well is the most valuable thing I do with my life. Of course I am just a regular guy with a professional job which I do love, but not extremely successfully or something. You will understand more when you get older. Just think what you will do when you are 40, 50, 60 years old.

Volrath89 5y ago
Yes! I am also a regular guy, I actually feel a bit below average reading HN, since I live in Germany and don't earn that much compared to US or even UK salaries. But I also don't spend a lot :) I have many (attainable) goals for when I hit 40, one of them is to be totally financially independent (passive sources of income > monthly expenses). After that I'd love to try a different industry altogether from tech, very likely starting a small, "boring" but low risk business. Not with the goal of getting rich of course. Just because I don't see myself in the tech treadmill my entire life. But yes what to do in my old age was a big consideration for me when I pondered about having children and my conclusion was that it was not worth to invest so much resources (time and money) into children in the present when I'm still young and with energy, just for having something to do 20 years in the future. Also take into account children will eventually leave home so I'd still be on my own when I'm 60 and older, with or without children. I have great respect for people that have children and I actually think me and my SO are selfish and probably narcissists. But we only have one life and having children is not a decision you can undo.