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my idea of success, in order: 1. financial independence (enough passive income not to work if i prefer) 2. own my own home (large enough to grow a family) 3.

my idea of success, in order: 1. financial independence (enough passive income not to work if i prefer) 2. own my own home (large enough to grow a family) 3. have a family In my mid 30s, pretty much given up on 3 and 2, as 3 depends on 2. So I am just left with 1 to aim for.

hef19898 5y ago
No. 1 can be solved by adopting a conservative life style, ideally two "steps" below what your current income would permit you. 2. and 3. are totally independent from each other, both are made easier by No. 1 so. Just a general advice, if I may dare, stop putting those things in order, relax and let some things in live just happen. And enjoy the journey as much as possible. Obviously, that advice only works if you are living in a stable environment. If you don't priorities are going to be topped by, worst case, living to see the next day.
2000UltraDeluxe 5y ago
That's unreasonable expectations for most, to be honest. I don't know if it's just because it's the HN bubble where everyone seems to be a USD millionaire and run their own successful startups, or if it's a general thing enabled by modern media trends (or something else entirely). Regardless, it's perfectly possible to succeed at having a happy and fulfilling life without being financially independent. #2 can be achieved if one moves out of the more attractive areas where housing is often far cheaper than in the more hip areas. It may have consequences like an increased commute, or a lower salary, but again, having enough money to never having work isn't going to happen for most of us.
Volrath89 5y ago
I don't know where do you live but it's definitely not necessary to own a home for having a family. Assuming you are a male, just having a stable job and actually wanting to have a family gives you a great chance of success with many, many women. Also mid 30s is so young, you still have at least a decade to find a significant other and build a family if that's what you want.
- 5350-uiop-1130 5y ago
  it's not so much about success with women, it's about having secure home and finances such that i don't have to worry about the future. getting married, having kids, i could do it now, but i would be living as a renter, dependent on my job. i would not be able to sleep at night. i feel like my parents generation at least had the safety net of social welfare, but that is no longer there.

hef19898 5y ago

No. 1 can be solved by adopting a conservative life style, ideally two "steps" below what your current income would permit you. 2. and 3. are totally independent from each other, both are made easier by No. 1 so. Just a general advice, if I may dare, stop putting those things in order, relax and let some things in live just happen. And enjoy the journey as much as possible. Obviously, that advice only works if you are living in a stable environment. If you don't priorities are going to be topped by, worst case, living to see the next day.

2000UltraDeluxe 5y ago

That's unreasonable expectations for most, to be honest. I don't know if it's just because it's the HN bubble where everyone seems to be a USD millionaire and run their own successful startups, or if it's a general thing enabled by modern media trends (or something else entirely). Regardless, it's perfectly possible to succeed at having a happy and fulfilling life without being financially independent. #2 can be achieved if one moves out of the more attractive areas where housing is often far cheaper than in the more hip areas. It may have consequences like an increased commute, or a lower salary, but again, having enough money to never having work isn't going to happen for most of us.

Volrath89 5y ago

I don't know where do you live but it's definitely not necessary to own a home for having a family. Assuming you are a male, just having a stable job and actually wanting to have a family gives you a great chance of success with many, many women. Also mid 30s is so young, you still have at least a decade to find a significant other and build a family if that's what you want.

5350-uiop-1130 5y ago
it's not so much about success with women, it's about having secure home and finances such that i don't have to worry about the future. getting married, having kids, i could do it now, but i would be living as a renter, dependent on my job. i would not be able to sleep at night. i feel like my parents generation at least had the safety net of social welfare, but that is no longer there.