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Before I had kids I used to travel and voluntarily fight in foreign warzones, go into dangerous ghettos in countries like Paraguay, and go deep into forest for
by notch656a 5y ago
Before I had kids I used to travel and voluntarily fight in foreign warzones, go into dangerous ghettos in countries like Paraguay, and go deep into forest for weeks in freezing weather that either a young child can't reliably survive or that the mother would never allow. Any of these things would most definitely get child services called were I to actually share I brought I child in that activity.
Those are the things that brought joy and interest to my life.
Can you explain how I can do those things as a parent? Parenthood is the long stride on low gear. Before I may have been mugged or killed in a barrio or shot by ISIS but it was far more interesting.
I think a lot of parents lie to themselves. You can always a borrow a or foster a kid if you want to do kid activities, but you can't just get rid of your own kid. On that alone your life becomes much less interesting, at least in my case. If the things you find interesting are child friendly, your mileage may vary.
I do try to take the conversation away from children when talking to fellow parents but there's a percentage of which you can't derail because they have little to offer to talk about other than children.
- kbelder 5y agoThat stuff is all very interesting. It's not necessarily more interesting than raising a child. But for some people it may be.
- notch656a 5y agoAbsolutely, depends on the person really. Personally I find raising a child extremely boring and unfulfilling. For some it isn't. 95% of the people I know could have basically fit a child into their life by altering their schedules and priorities. If the things that actually brought your life meaning are absolutely incompatible with children, however, children are a much harder pill to swallow. You basically just have to wait down the clock until life resumes, because the only other 'option' is abandoning the child. Like a prisoner, I serve my 18 year sentence for the mistake I made -- it's no one else's fault but my own and now I have to live up to the commitment for the sake of the child. I guess it's not surprising people have different tastes in activities in life.
- m4x 5y agoI don't think volunteering to fight in warzones is compatible with being a parent, but it's also not something relevant to the experience of almost any person here :) The number of people who choose to do things like that is small. Most hobbies and goals are compatible with being a parent. Yours are not. If anybody else here reads this from a warzone they've entered voluntarily, don't take my comments above as relevant to you :) It sounds like you're struggling quite a bit with the change of pace. I know a couple of people who have voluntarily fought in foreign warzones and travelled conflict areas, and neither are coping well with being home in the mundane. I hope you can find something that helps. Therapy might if you can find somebody good.
- notch656a 5y agoThank you for the advice friend, and well wishes to you and your family.
- deleted 5y ago[deleted]