"Unfortunately Crapco is experiencing a major labor shortage of people who are willing to work at our company under awful working conditions, for minimal pay, w

"Unfortunately Crapco is experiencing a major labor shortage of people who are willing to work at our company under awful working conditions, for minimal pay, with negligible benefits. We're doing everything we can to address this dire situation, short of improving working conditions, raising wages, or providing better benefits (laughable options which are obviously not something we could ever consider at Crapco.)"