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Yes, being able to politely but clearly say "no" when people ask you to do something is an important skill. I struggle with it myself. People who are experts a

Yes, being able to politely but clearly say "no" when people ask you to do something is an important skill. I struggle with it myself. People who are experts at imposing on other people's time will latch on to any crack you leave open. Don't give reasons. You might think "I'm sorry, but I don't have time to get involved in that" is clear, but they will counter with "it won't take much time at all." Just say "no, thank you, but I must decline" or something that doesn't leave any room for further discussion.

tomcam 5y ago
Very well put. It’s an essential skill.
dmichulke 5y ago
They might reply with some form of "But why?" in which case the best answer is - "this is none of your business" or - "because I want to". If they're extremely manipulative, they'll follow up with more "why?"s but you just keep repeating these two until their why's are exhausted or you leave with a "So... bye" This technique is called the broken record in the book "When I say no I feel guilty" which talks basically only about these types of interactions.
sixstringtheory 5y ago
Exactly. Giving people reasons is giving them problems that they will solve for you, if it means them ultimately getting what they want.
nobody9999 5y ago
>People who are experts at imposing on other people's time will latch on to any crack you leave open. Don't give reasons. You might think "I'm sorry, but I don't have time to get involved in that" is clear, but they will counter with "it won't take much time at all." Just say "no, thank you, but I must decline" or something that doesn't leave any room for further discussion. It's not an expert thing at all. It's a standard sales technique. 1. Make your pitch; 2. Go for the close; 3. Deal with any concerns/objections; 4. Go back to step 2. When I was still just a kid (~18), I took a B2B sales job and that was one of the primary strategies they pushed for closing deals.

tomcam 5y ago

Very well put. It’s an essential skill.

dmichulke 5y ago

They might reply with some form of "But why?" in which case the best answer is - "this is none of your business" or - "because I want to". If they're extremely manipulative, they'll follow up with more "why?"s but you just keep repeating these two until their why's are exhausted or you leave with a "So... bye" This technique is called the broken record in the book "When I say no I feel guilty" which talks basically only about these types of interactions.

sixstringtheory 5y ago

Exactly. Giving people reasons is giving them problems that they will solve for you, if it means them ultimately getting what they want.

nobody9999 5y ago

>People who are experts at imposing on other people's time will latch on to any crack you leave open. Don't give reasons. You might think "I'm sorry, but I don't have time to get involved in that" is clear, but they will counter with "it won't take much time at all." Just say "no, thank you, but I must decline" or something that doesn't leave any room for further discussion. It's not an expert thing at all. It's a standard sales technique. 1. Make your pitch; 2. Go for the close; 3. Deal with any concerns/objections; 4. Go back to step 2. When I was still just a kid (~18), I took a B2B sales job and that was one of the primary strategies they pushed for closing deals.