I was averse to anti-depressants as well. Ended up depressed and started self-medicating myself for a few years with weed and alcohol. Finally gave in and start

I was averse to anti-depressants as well. Ended up depressed and started self-medicating myself for a few years with weed and alcohol. Finally gave in and started taking the minimum dose of Celexa and, holy fuck, do I wish I had started taking them sooner. They changed my life. I took them for about 7 years and then went off them when I didn't need them anymore. Side effects were very minimal. Dampened sexual pleasure slightly. But it also made me more effective at work and better to get things done in my life. My advice is try it. Talk to a psychiatrist and go on a minimal dose for a few months. Get therapy while you're going. If it doesn't work, it doesn't work. But it really could change your life.