i have a life long history of major depression. only recently have i felt any better. i checked myself into rehab and had an amazing therapist. specifically

i have a life long history of major depression. only recently have i felt any better. i checked myself into rehab and had an amazing therapist. specifically EMDR therapy for trauma, and finally deciding to forgive myself for pretty evil things i did in my addiction. gabapentin for anxiety also helped. best of luck, please seek professional help, but don't be afraid to switch therapists/psychiatrists until you find someone you connect with. much love to you, and good job speaking up and being vulnerable, that's a difficult first step towards healing.