4 ms·

For Steve Jobs's Biological Father, the Reunion Never Came

103 points by jedwhite 15y ago

deleted 15y ago
[deleted]
- hartror 15y ago
  Having never given up a child for adoption nor being adopted myself I certainly cannot agree or disagree with you categorically. However my contact with those how have been involved in such things has shown me that interest and involvement varies greatly depending on the people and what experiences they had. edit what i replied to: Considering he gave him up for adoption not sure why he would want to meet with him once he grew up. He is no more relevant than a stranger wanting to meet Jobs. And calling him his child is an insult to the parents that raised Steve Jobs. Hope quoting a deleted message isn't against the rules, I didn't post the username as it appears they regret something about the post and deleted as is their right.
  - cleverjake 15y ago
    and for what its worth, Jobs did hire a personal investigator in the 80s to find his mother. That is how him and his sister originally met, if memory serves. It is most likely a personal matter that made him not want to contact his father.
    - dhughes 15y ago
      It's odd though since the article seems to read as if Steve's mother was pressured to abandon him by her father but Steve's biological father didn't have a say in it. Only later after the divorce they described Mr. Jandali as distant but that's no surprise after a divorce.
      - chubot 15y ago
        Yeah there's definitely more to the story, and many sides of it... but I guess all that is ancient history and Jobs took it to its grave. No use in them arguing about it after he's gone. Real life doesn't wrap up like in the movies :-/
        hartror 15y ago
        Who said something along the lines of "you never leave with an empty inbox"?
        MikeCapone 15y ago
        There's a chance that we'll learn more about it in Walter Isaacson's upcoming biography where he had Jobs' cooperation.
      - redthrowaway 15y ago
        The article also says that his father abandoned his other children. Give Jobs' friendship with his sister and mother, I can see how that would make him not want to have a relationship.
- Game_Ender 15y ago
  Their is plenty of research that shows your genes have as much, or more to do with your success later in life then your parents. This is especially true as long as your parents meet the minimum standard of raising you. Edit was the post I was replying to: "Considering he gave him up for adoption not sure why he would want to meet with him once he grew up. He is no more relevant than a stranger wanting to meet Jobs. And calling him his child is an insult to the parents that raised Steve Jobs."
  - deleted 15y ago
    [deleted]
    - Game_Ender 15y ago
      No. I was just making the point that your biological parents are relevant to who you become.
      - deleted 15y ago
        [deleted]
  - felipemnoa 15y ago
    There is plenty of research that shows that your environment has as much, or more to do with your success than your genes. Just look at kids in bad environments. Steve's environment in this case was provided by his adoptive parents. The fact that they were willing to spend all their savings for Steve to go to a very expensive college tell us a lot about the type of environment that they wanted for their kid. We will never know but I wonder if we would be talking about Jobs today had he not been raised by his adoptive parents.
    - Game_Ender 15y ago
      > There is plenty of research that shows that your environment has as much, or more to do with your success than your genes. Just look at kids in bad environments. That shows the effects that really poor environments have on children. I believe I have read the after a certain minimum level of care is reached the effects of childhood upbringing greatly diminish (ie. piling on those childhood activities is unlikely to result in long term gains vs. children who don't have them).
djangonian 15y ago
Those eyes,lips and nose are very similar..;)
- MikeCapone 15y ago
  The physical resemblance is striking, IMO. I'd like to also see a photo of his biological mother to compare.
ramanujan 15y ago
Well, Jobs' children are still alive. I can't believe they too would be so mad at their grandfather that they wouldn't want to meet him. He should wait till things calm down and then knock on a door in Cupertino.
- deleted 15y ago
  [deleted]
- danilocampos 15y ago
  It takes more than blood to make a grandfather.
  - angus77 15y ago
    One point Jobs' father made was that he was surprised Steve didn't contact him to find out information about his family's medical history. I was adopted, too. I never had any inclination to track down my birth parents (not out of anger or anything, it's just something that's never interested me). Now that I have a flock of kids, however, my wife and adoptive mother are pushing me to track them down so I can learn about my bloodline's medical history.
  - ramanujan 15y ago
    Sure, ok, I guess if they want to hate/ignore him for eternity that's their right. But he seems like an old man with some remorse and a broken heart. Maybe he's actually a villain who really wronged their biological grandmother -- who knows. But total estrangement seems extreme. Anyway, if I were him I'd make the trek to Cupertino.
51Cards 15y ago
I lived most of my life estranged from my father due to issues I won't get into here. When I was 32 though we finally got to know each other more as adult friends than as father/son. As much as I never saw any reason to get to know him before hand, I thoroughly enjoyed the few years we had to reconnect before he passed away 3 years back. It makes me somewhat sad that Jobs never took that opportunity. Not saying it would have turned out the same but it's disappointing it was never tried. I know I was surprised that despite the fact we were polar opposites (lumberjack, software developer) we still found a lot in common. Made me think there might be a little something to that 'nature' thing after all.
code_duck 15y ago
That's very interesting and sad. Poignant, there are a lot of rock stars and similarly driven people who seem to be striving against feelings of rejection from their parents. Not that adopted people have really been rejected, in my inexperienced analysis, but I've known a few who feel that way. Another major immigration success story, too! From the Middle East no less.
kloncks 15y ago
Barack Obama had a similar background, did he not? Immigrant father, a young student who seemingly wasn't ready for parenthood.
toyg 15y ago
Sorry, I'm a cinic, but I bet most people would "regret" such an opportunity with hindsight... M: "I'm pregnant." F: "I'm getting the hell out of Dodge!" M: "I have it on authority that this baby is gonna be a multi-billionaire." F: "Well, I guess I might stick around after all."
vii 15y ago
This article doesn't go into the reasons for which Steve Jobs was given up for adoption. His biological father reportedly said, "I honestly do not know, to this day, if Steve is aware of the fact that had it been my choice, I would have loved to keep him." Steve Jobs is claimed by Syrians as his own, and there are suggestions that the father of his mother forced him to be adopted out of Islamophobia or anti-Semitism.
- sunnydaynow 15y ago
  Islamophobia OR anti-Semitism? I do not understand...
  - frogly 15y ago
    Arabs are Semites.
    - gyardley 15y ago
      Of course they are, but you know very well that the word 'anti-semitism' refers solely to Jews. If you can get everyone to switch over to 'Judeophobia', fine by me, but until then you'll have to accept that the meaning of words sometimes differs from their literal parts.
- dpe82 15y ago
  His mother was an unwed woman in the 50s having a baby. That just wasn't culturally accepted back then. It's not surprising she left the Midwest to have the baby and then put it up for adoption.

103 points by jedwhite 15y ago

deleted 15y ago

[deleted]

hartror 15y ago
Having never given up a child for adoption nor being adopted myself I certainly cannot agree or disagree with you categorically. However my contact with those how have been involved in such things has shown me that interest and involvement varies greatly depending on the people and what experiences they had. edit what i replied to: Considering he gave him up for adoption not sure why he would want to meet with him once he grew up. He is no more relevant than a stranger wanting to meet Jobs. And calling him his child is an insult to the parents that raised Steve Jobs. Hope quoting a deleted message isn't against the rules, I didn't post the username as it appears they regret something about the post and deleted as is their right.
- cleverjake 15y ago
  and for what its worth, Jobs did hire a personal investigator in the 80s to find his mother. That is how him and his sister originally met, if memory serves. It is most likely a personal matter that made him not want to contact his father.
  - dhughes 15y ago
    It's odd though since the article seems to read as if Steve's mother was pressured to abandon him by her father but Steve's biological father didn't have a say in it. Only later after the divorce they described Mr. Jandali as distant but that's no surprise after a divorce.
    - chubot 15y ago
      Yeah there's definitely more to the story, and many sides of it... but I guess all that is ancient history and Jobs took it to its grave. No use in them arguing about it after he's gone. Real life doesn't wrap up like in the movies :-/
      - hartror 15y ago
        Who said something along the lines of "you never leave with an empty inbox"?
      - MikeCapone 15y ago
        There's a chance that we'll learn more about it in Walter Isaacson's upcoming biography where he had Jobs' cooperation.
    - redthrowaway 15y ago
      The article also says that his father abandoned his other children. Give Jobs' friendship with his sister and mother, I can see how that would make him not want to have a relationship.
Game_Ender 15y ago
Their is plenty of research that shows your genes have as much, or more to do with your success later in life then your parents. This is especially true as long as your parents meet the minimum standard of raising you. Edit was the post I was replying to: "Considering he gave him up for adoption not sure why he would want to meet with him once he grew up. He is no more relevant than a stranger wanting to meet Jobs. And calling him his child is an insult to the parents that raised Steve Jobs."
- deleted 15y ago
  [deleted]
  - Game_Ender 15y ago
    No. I was just making the point that your biological parents are relevant to who you become.
    - deleted 15y ago
      [deleted]
- felipemnoa 15y ago
  There is plenty of research that shows that your environment has as much, or more to do with your success than your genes. Just look at kids in bad environments. Steve's environment in this case was provided by his adoptive parents. The fact that they were willing to spend all their savings for Steve to go to a very expensive college tell us a lot about the type of environment that they wanted for their kid. We will never know but I wonder if we would be talking about Jobs today had he not been raised by his adoptive parents.
  - Game_Ender 15y ago
    > There is plenty of research that shows that your environment has as much, or more to do with your success than your genes. Just look at kids in bad environments. That shows the effects that really poor environments have on children. I believe I have read the after a certain minimum level of care is reached the effects of childhood upbringing greatly diminish (ie. piling on those childhood activities is unlikely to result in long term gains vs. children who don't have them).

djangonian 15y ago

Those eyes,lips and nose are very similar..;)

MikeCapone 15y ago
The physical resemblance is striking, IMO. I'd like to also see a photo of his biological mother to compare.

ramanujan 15y ago

Well, Jobs' children are still alive. I can't believe they too would be so mad at their grandfather that they wouldn't want to meet him. He should wait till things calm down and then knock on a door in Cupertino.

deleted 15y ago
[deleted]
danilocampos 15y ago
It takes more than blood to make a grandfather.
- angus77 15y ago
  One point Jobs' father made was that he was surprised Steve didn't contact him to find out information about his family's medical history. I was adopted, too. I never had any inclination to track down my birth parents (not out of anger or anything, it's just something that's never interested me). Now that I have a flock of kids, however, my wife and adoptive mother are pushing me to track them down so I can learn about my bloodline's medical history.
- ramanujan 15y ago
  Sure, ok, I guess if they want to hate/ignore him for eternity that's their right. But he seems like an old man with some remorse and a broken heart. Maybe he's actually a villain who really wronged their biological grandmother -- who knows. But total estrangement seems extreme. Anyway, if I were him I'd make the trek to Cupertino.

51Cards 15y ago

I lived most of my life estranged from my father due to issues I won't get into here. When I was 32 though we finally got to know each other more as adult friends than as father/son. As much as I never saw any reason to get to know him before hand, I thoroughly enjoyed the few years we had to reconnect before he passed away 3 years back. It makes me somewhat sad that Jobs never took that opportunity. Not saying it would have turned out the same but it's disappointing it was never tried. I know I was surprised that despite the fact we were polar opposites (lumberjack, software developer) we still found a lot in common. Made me think there might be a little something to that 'nature' thing after all.

code_duck 15y ago

That's very interesting and sad. Poignant, there are a lot of rock stars and similarly driven people who seem to be striving against feelings of rejection from their parents. Not that adopted people have really been rejected, in my inexperienced analysis, but I've known a few who feel that way. Another major immigration success story, too! From the Middle East no less.

kloncks 15y ago

Barack Obama had a similar background, did he not? Immigrant father, a young student who seemingly wasn't ready for parenthood.

toyg 15y ago

Sorry, I'm a cinic, but I bet most people would "regret" such an opportunity with hindsight... M: "I'm pregnant." F: "I'm getting the hell out of Dodge!" M: "I have it on authority that this baby is gonna be a multi-billionaire." F: "Well, I guess I might stick around after all."

vii 15y ago

This article doesn't go into the reasons for which Steve Jobs was given up for adoption. His biological father reportedly said, "I honestly do not know, to this day, if Steve is aware of the fact that had it been my choice, I would have loved to keep him." Steve Jobs is claimed by Syrians as his own, and there are suggestions that the father of his mother forced him to be adopted out of Islamophobia or anti-Semitism.

sunnydaynow 15y ago
Islamophobia OR anti-Semitism? I do not understand...
- frogly 15y ago
  Arabs are Semites.
  - gyardley 15y ago
    Of course they are, but you know very well that the word 'anti-semitism' refers solely to Jews. If you can get everyone to switch over to 'Judeophobia', fine by me, but until then you'll have to accept that the meaning of words sometimes differs from their literal parts.
dpe82 15y ago
His mother was an unwed woman in the 50s having a baby. That just wasn't culturally accepted back then. It's not surprising she left the Midwest to have the baby and then put it up for adoption.