The author agrees with you: > Your own choices in these situations might go in different parts of the graph. I think it’s less about the specifics and more abo

The author agrees with you: > Your own choices in these situations might go in different parts of the graph. I think it’s less about the specifics and more about understanding what it means to assert—but not baby—yourself, given who you are and what you need. That's why the author proposes asking yourself "am I being avoidant?" In the mosh pit example, the answer might be "yes" if you trust that what applies to your friends applies to you. If you really are out of social energy, you might answer "no" and take a little extra time at the wine shop. The substance here is "check in with yourself rather than automatically doing what's easy or comfortable" not "make the same decision I would."