I think "assume positive intent" can often fall into the bucket of "you shouldn't feel bad because this is a good person." I just don't think emotions work that

I think "assume positive intent" can often fall into the bucket of "you shouldn't feel bad because this is a good person." I just don't think emotions work that way. Even if someone has the best intentions, I may still feel hurt/angry/sad/confused/jealous/etc. For example, someone may spend a full day cooking a meal that they believe is the perfect meal for me. I may go to eat it and find out it has an ingredient in it, say peanuts, to which I'm deathly allergic. The person may have had the best intentions in cooking that meal and yet that meal may have killed me. So in this, I still try to assume good intentions, so I don't accumulate bitterness and resentment towards the individual person, however, I also want to be very open and honest about how scared I feel when I think about eating that meal. So I hear you in that "assume positive intent" may be another way for organizations to say "avoid conflict." So, even if their intentions with saying "assume positive intent" are positive, the effect of those behaviors may not be positive for everyone, and as I mentioned in another comment, I think "assume positive intent" should be followed with "and tell people how you feel."