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IMO cancelling plans on people because 'something better came up' is rude and selfish. I just stop being friends with people like that. e.g. I had someone canc
by allturtles 5y ago
IMO cancelling plans on people because 'something better came up' is rude and selfish. I just stop being friends with people like that.
e.g. I had someone cancel plans made weeks ahead to meet up with me and my family at the last minute because they got invited to go skiing (this is in an area near many ski resorts, it was not a once in a lifetime opportunity). I just lost interest in meeting up with that person again.
I similarly dislike dealing with people who "keep their options open" by refusing to commit to plans until the last minute (e.g. RSVP-ing to a birthday party invite the night before).
- adewinter 5y agoI generally agree with your sentiment but do also think there is value in some degree of flexibility and recognizing some plans have more significance than other. E.g. if the friend bailed on a coffee break instead of a weeks-in-advance-vacation-plan it would be much less of a big deal (maybe not even worth nuking the friendship over?). Either way, situations like that do call for evaluating how important that person is in your life and (down)ranking them accordingly. Everyone has some fair-weather friends.
- anarticle 5y agoThere's flexibility and then there are repeat offenders. In a more detailed look, last minute cancel is the worst. I have moved the fair weather friends to group invites, and they either come or don't. They torpedo so many plans, it's not worth making the changes anymore.