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> I worry people don't quite realize how harmful this behavior is trying to predict how people feel without talking to them is baked into thousands of years of

by Chris2048 5y ago

> I worry people don't quite realize how harmful this behavior is trying to predict how people feel without talking to them is baked into thousands of years of evolution, not just for humans, and a large amount of human communication is implied or non-verbal as well. It's hard to think it's that harmful given we've coevolved with it. BTW, would you only take this approach with close friends/partners, or bosses/coworkers too?

TameAntelope 5y ago
We're not on the savanna hunting antelope anymore, so knowing that you're feeling, "scared of being eaten by the lion behind me" is no longer granular enough to be useful.
- Chris2048 5y ago
  Human ancestors evolved social skills way before they descended to the savanna. Chimps kill each other all the time, maybe evolving a way to predict feelings would be useful there?
IceMetalPunk 5y ago
There are plenty of things we evolved to do/believe/think/perceive that are now harmful, because the world has changed and we haven't yet genetically evolved to fully adapt to it yet (and, because of medical technology, we may never do so). There are hundreds of cognitive biases that exist because they were an evolutionary benefit, but no longer are, or are no longer enough. Predicting how people feel is empathy, and that's great! But stopping there and assuming your predictions are correct without actually verifying them with the person first? That's harmful. You're not too busy anymore running from lions and hunting deer to stop and talk to a person before forming your ideas about them.
em-bee 5y ago
it's harmful because it when it is wrong, then it can cause a lot of damage to the relationship. what we think others are feeling is always based on our own feelings. the reason it works, because most of the time, their feelings don't actually matter. when bumping into a stranger, assume best intentions, apologize or say something else appropriate and move on. who cares what they actually think or feel. the closer the person is, the more communication is warranted.

TameAntelope 5y ago

We're not on the savanna hunting antelope anymore, so knowing that you're feeling, "scared of being eaten by the lion behind me" is no longer granular enough to be useful.

Chris2048 5y ago
Human ancestors evolved social skills way before they descended to the savanna. Chimps kill each other all the time, maybe evolving a way to predict feelings would be useful there?

IceMetalPunk 5y ago

There are plenty of things we evolved to do/believe/think/perceive that are now harmful, because the world has changed and we haven't yet genetically evolved to fully adapt to it yet (and, because of medical technology, we may never do so). There are hundreds of cognitive biases that exist because they were an evolutionary benefit, but no longer are, or are no longer enough. Predicting how people feel is empathy, and that's great! But stopping there and assuming your predictions are correct without actually verifying them with the person first? That's harmful. You're not too busy anymore running from lions and hunting deer to stop and talk to a person before forming your ideas about them.

em-bee 5y ago

it's harmful because it when it is wrong, then it can cause a lot of damage to the relationship. what we think others are feeling is always based on our own feelings. the reason it works, because most of the time, their feelings don't actually matter. when bumping into a stranger, assume best intentions, apologize or say something else appropriate and move on. who cares what they actually think or feel. the closer the person is, the more communication is warranted.