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Almost all women I know who have kids prefer being the primary care taker to the primary bread winner. About half the men I know with kids would prefer to be p

Almost all women I know who have kids prefer being the primary care taker to the primary bread winner. About half the men I know with kids would prefer to be primary care taker. If we somehow convince more men to want to be the primary caretaker, and feel more strongly about does that necessarily make the world a better place? It means both more men and more women don't get what they want.

scarmig 5y ago
I'm not proposing engineering people's desires. I'm proposing eliminating the social structures that penalize men who want to be the primary caregiver (and penalize women who want to be the primary bread winner). Couples with compatible desires in line with the status quo would be unaffected. Couples with compatible desires opposite the status quo would purely benefit. Couples with discordant desires would negotiate the allocation of responsibilities more freely without social expectations biasing the outcome, which would lead to one partner benefiting and the other losing, but in a way that's either neutral or leads to a net benefit across the two individuals.
- nopenopenopeno 5y ago
  What social structures penalize men who want to be the primary care giver?
  - s1artibartfast 5y ago
    Companies with different different policies for non medical birth leave would be one example of a social expectation codified as corporate policy. It is a pretty fringe issue in the United States because many companies that do give non-medical bonding time, give the same to both genders. There is also the hypothetical idea that stay at home dads get a called pussies, but I've never seen it come up.
  - fennecfoxy 5y ago
    Lol, stay at home Dads get told they're "baby-sitting". They aren't as "manly" in the eyes of their male peers (though this is changing a little). Hell, until recently it was only women who had access to maternity leave, paternity leave in most countries seems to be quite a new concept.

scarmig 5y ago

I'm not proposing engineering people's desires. I'm proposing eliminating the social structures that penalize men who want to be the primary caregiver (and penalize women who want to be the primary bread winner). Couples with compatible desires in line with the status quo would be unaffected. Couples with compatible desires opposite the status quo would purely benefit. Couples with discordant desires would negotiate the allocation of responsibilities more freely without social expectations biasing the outcome, which would lead to one partner benefiting and the other losing, but in a way that's either neutral or leads to a net benefit across the two individuals.

nopenopenopeno 5y ago
What social structures penalize men who want to be the primary care giver?
- s1artibartfast 5y ago
  Companies with different different policies for non medical birth leave would be one example of a social expectation codified as corporate policy. It is a pretty fringe issue in the United States because many companies that do give non-medical bonding time, give the same to both genders. There is also the hypothetical idea that stay at home dads get a called pussies, but I've never seen it come up.
- fennecfoxy 5y ago
  Lol, stay at home Dads get told they're "baby-sitting". They aren't as "manly" in the eyes of their male peers (though this is changing a little). Hell, until recently it was only women who had access to maternity leave, paternity leave in most countries seems to be quite a new concept.