My spouse is into having things very, very clean (from my perspective, at least). When we moved in together (over a decade ago) we negotiated household duties -

My spouse is into having things very, very clean (from my perspective, at least). When we moved in together (over a decade ago) we negotiated household duties - basically wrote them all out and ranked them by how much we hated doing them, then optimized the division of labor to achieve least total pain… Here’s the thing - in that process we found fundamental disagreements on what’s important to clean up in the first place. Life’s too short to make beds… Rooms have doors for a reason… listing out what we each expected really helped launch a conversation about compromise about doing things at all, as much as it did who would do things. I’m a lot cleaner now because I know exactly what she wants, and she’s a lot more flexible and accepting of my messes because she knows it’s not my default and I’m trying for her.