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Both of you are right. It's not incumbent on someone grieving to be gracious, and yet choosing grace is better than choosing to react with anger or hurt.
by GavinMcG 5y ago
Both of you are right. It's not incumbent on someone grieving to be gracious, and yet choosing grace is better than choosing to react with anger or hurt.
- smeej 5y agoIf you think you get to choose in moments like this, you've had no experience with overwhelming grief. You get to breathe. Usually. If you remind yourself, or someone reminds you. You do not get to be magnanimous about the insensitivity of people who can't even bear looking at your pain and think there's something they can say that will make it go away.
- GavinMcG 5y agoYou're making the point that someone else's experience can't possibly match yours: that's why they shouldn't claim to understand what you're going through. The reverse is also true. Don't assume so casually that your experience is the only valid one.
- lanstin 5y agoOne of the characteristics of grief is that it is a reaction which is not chosen, it is events over powering a persons regulatory abilities.