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> How many marriages do you think would make it 5 years down the road with only a month of knowing each other? A week? A handful of 1-hour interviews? I mean, t

> How many marriages do you think would make it 5 years down the road with only a month of knowing each other? A week? A handful of 1-hour interviews? I mean, that's the kind of time commitment you are looking at with a job. I've heard people claim arranged marriages last longer, on average, then non. Of course there are all kinds of confounding factors. The number one though seems to be the expectation to make it work instead of just giving up and moving on if things aren't perfect.

BobbyJo 5y ago
> The number one though seems to be the expectation to make it work instead of just giving up and moving on if things aren't perfect. Cultures that arrange marriages typically do not allow divorce. Even if we carry that comparison through, the marriages are normally arranged by family, people who have known you your whole life, and probably want you to not hate your spouse. Hiring via references from people that have worked together for a long time are much more useful than interviews and personality tests.
erdos4d 5y ago
I took a year of sociology in college. One bit of wisdom that out professor gave us was how arranged marriages happen in countries where there is immense pressure to conform to traditional gender roles. He literally described these societies as hammering a person through a form to get the requisite shape the society wanted. In societies like that, you can pair up any two people and it will likely work because both know precisely what is expected of them, and there is immense pressure again to make it work, no matter what.
macksd 5y ago
And going to another extreme - I know couples who have lived together for years before deciding to get married, and the marriage really didn't last very long at all. A lot of sociological explanations but the point I really want to make is you can't always look at something that doesn't work out and assume that you would have made a better decision with more time. We could double the size of our interview panels and still get people that weren't right.

BobbyJo 5y ago

> The number one though seems to be the expectation to make it work instead of just giving up and moving on if things aren't perfect. Cultures that arrange marriages typically do not allow divorce. Even if we carry that comparison through, the marriages are normally arranged by family, people who have known you your whole life, and probably want you to not hate your spouse. Hiring via references from people that have worked together for a long time are much more useful than interviews and personality tests.

erdos4d 5y ago

I took a year of sociology in college. One bit of wisdom that out professor gave us was how arranged marriages happen in countries where there is immense pressure to conform to traditional gender roles. He literally described these societies as hammering a person through a form to get the requisite shape the society wanted. In societies like that, you can pair up any two people and it will likely work because both know precisely what is expected of them, and there is immense pressure again to make it work, no matter what.

macksd 5y ago

And going to another extreme - I know couples who have lived together for years before deciding to get married, and the marriage really didn't last very long at all. A lot of sociological explanations but the point I really want to make is you can't always look at something that doesn't work out and assume that you would have made a better decision with more time. We could double the size of our interview panels and still get people that weren't right.