Thank you. I do rely on medication and note taking apps (though mine are a bit scattered). One of my issues with motivation is what you mentioned: I really rea

Thank you. I do rely on medication and note taking apps (though mine are a bit scattered). One of my issues with motivation is what you mentioned: I really really struggle to get invested. Things that are "work" seem to live in an anti-motivation bucket, regardless of how organically interesting they may be to me outside of a work contest. I'm in my 30s now, and I've been doing this my whole life and it is killing me. It takes a tremendous amount of effort and an extremely imminent deadline to get me to start anything. This (ostensibly) runs completely contrary to my self-concept and value system, but the motivation problem permeates every fucking inch of my life, and always has. I can read this back and recognize a defeatist attitude, but I don't know what else to do.