"The company's hosting a nominally-optional-but-not-really hammer-thon this weekend! Aren't you just so excited! You'll get to swing those hammers any way you l

"The company's hosting a nominally-optional-but-not-really hammer-thon this weekend! Aren't you just so excited! You'll get to swing those hammers any way you like, not just the exact way your manager tells you to! Fun!"