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Good sentiment. But when your being hurt emotionally and physically most days. Numbness becomes your only real defense.

nonrandomstring 5y ago
> Good sentiment. But when your being hurt emotionally and physically most days. Numbness becomes your only real defense. What you are alluding to sounds like abuse. As you can see in this thread I am being chastised for offering unsolicited, condescending advice about things I know nothing about - as if the vicarious snipers knew anything about my experiences or expertise, and as if my tone was out of place here. If your comment pertains to yourself I'd heartily recommend you read [1][2] below. People are using the word "numb". That could mean a lot of things, drugs, alcohol, or other indulgences. But there are specific dangers with the coping behaviour that clinicians call "dissociation". I wish you well. [1] https://www.survivingmypast.net/dissociation-protective-as-a-child-dangerous-as-an-adult/ https://www.survivingmypast.net/dissociation-protective-as-a... [2] https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-savvy-psychologist/202011/how-manage-dissociating https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-savvy-psychologi...
wolverine876 5y ago
> But when your being hurt emotionally and physically most days. Numbness becomes your only real defense. While I empathize with people using numbness, it's not true that it's the only defense. Hurt is something in you; it's your perceptual experience and you can control that. Someone hurts me because I let them. That doesn't excuse them, but takes away their power: I can look at it differently. It's not a panacea, but I've been through what you've talked about and not surrendering my empathy, not letting them destroy that part of me, was something I was determined to do. Compassion is a great too, your armor: Compassion for yourself, displacing the hurt from others, and for the abusers, which takes away much of their power.

> Good sentiment. But when your being hurt emotionally and physically most days. Numbness becomes your only real defense. What you are alluding to sounds like abuse. As you can see in this thread I am being chastised for offering unsolicited, condescending advice about things I know nothing about - as if the vicarious snipers knew anything about my experiences or expertise, and as if my tone was out of place here. If your comment pertains to yourself I'd heartily recommend you read [1][2] below. People are using the word "numb". That could mean a lot of things, drugs, alcohol, or other indulgences. But there are specific dangers with the coping behaviour that clinicians call "dissociation". I wish you well. [1] https://www.survivingmypast.net/dissociation-protective-as-a-child-dangerous-as-an-adult/ https://www.survivingmypast.net/dissociation-protective-as-a... [2] https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-savvy-psychologist/202011/how-manage-dissociating https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-savvy-psychologi...

wolverine876 5y ago

> But when your being hurt emotionally and physically most days. Numbness becomes your only real defense. While I empathize with people using numbness, it's not true that it's the only defense. Hurt is something in you; it's your perceptual experience and you can control that. Someone hurts me because I let them. That doesn't excuse them, but takes away their power: I can look at it differently. It's not a panacea, but I've been through what you've talked about and not surrendering my empathy, not letting them destroy that part of me, was something I was determined to do. Compassion is a great too, your armor: Compassion for yourself, displacing the hurt from others, and for the abusers, which takes away much of their power.