Sounds like existential anxiety type issue to me. You might study the stoics or learn to embrace nihilism to get past it. Once you accept how small and irreleva

Sounds like existential anxiety type issue to me. You might study the stoics or learn to embrace nihilism to get past it. Once you accept how small and irrelevant you are in this big picture, you can stop worrying about success or "winning" and get on with things that are important to you.