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>> How the heck do you try to prevent something like that when all the warning signs are there? >Surely not by preemptive incarceration. You aren't suggesting

>> How the heck do you try to prevent something like that when all the warning signs are there? >Surely not by preemptive incarceration. You aren't suggesting any solutions. >Coercing kids into physical sports is abusive. You shouldn't dilute the term abusive like that. >In general, using coercion (including denial of "privileges" that non-inmates consider a right) is both abusive and probably doomed. I don't think you have kids, you're looking at it from the child's perspective, not a parent's. You haven't really promoted any solutions, just saying things you shouldn't do, leaving a parent with zero tools whatsoever other than to just let the kid be wild. I've seen the results of that, it's quite destructive as well. It's ultimately the parents' responsibility to raise children, and at least in the US, they get zero help and mostly criticism for how they do it, mostly from people who don't have children themselves. What do you do if you suspect your child is the next Adam Lanza? What do you do if you are as financially constrained and have nearly zero help as a parent in the US? Some variation of "pull yourself up by your bootstraps?"

denton-scratch 5y ago
> You aren't suggesting any solutions. I'm not a child psychotherapist (but I was married to one). But I believe that in the case of children, and possibly with adults too, providing a warm, supportive environment for the subject to explore their feelings and behaviour is at least part of a solution. > You shouldn't dilute the term abusive like that. What's your threshold for calling something "abuse"? At my school we had to play Rugby Union. In one year, several kids in my class were hospitalised with gashes caused by metal boot-studs in the scrum. My son had flat feet; running literally caused him pain. > I don't think you have kids I think you think too much. I have two adult kids, and two grandchildren. > just saying things you shouldn't do, leaving a parent with zero tools Well, the subject is the consequences of using incarceration as your parenting tool, so that's not surprising. I'm not suggesting that parenting is easy. And I'm certainly not going to point at some doctrine or methodology, and say "everyone should do it this way". People are people, and they're all different. There's no "right way" of dealing with people. But neglecting children, and then punishing them because they act up, is the "wrong way".

denton-scratch 5y ago

> You aren't suggesting any solutions. I'm not a child psychotherapist (but I was married to one). But I believe that in the case of children, and possibly with adults too, providing a warm, supportive environment for the subject to explore their feelings and behaviour is at least part of a solution. > You shouldn't dilute the term abusive like that. What's your threshold for calling something "abuse"? At my school we had to play Rugby Union. In one year, several kids in my class were hospitalised with gashes caused by metal boot-studs in the scrum. My son had flat feet; running literally caused him pain. > I don't think you have kids I think you think too much. I have two adult kids, and two grandchildren. > just saying things you shouldn't do, leaving a parent with zero tools Well, the subject is the consequences of using incarceration as your parenting tool, so that's not surprising. I'm not suggesting that parenting is easy. And I'm certainly not going to point at some doctrine or methodology, and say "everyone should do it this way". People are people, and they're all different. There's no "right way" of dealing with people. But neglecting children, and then punishing them because they act up, is the "wrong way".