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I don’t think “constant supervision” is considered moral by the majority of people. Most people I know consider it moral to supervise kids in new or dangerous

by awb 5y ago

I don’t think “constant supervision” is considered moral by the majority of people. Most people I know consider it moral to supervise kids in new or dangerous situations. Parenting from my experience is many shades of grey rather than “right” vs. “wrong”.

renewiltord 5y ago
The magic is the question of “dangerous”. The spectrum of “dangerous” includes “played in a park by herself at 9 yo” (the Debra Harrell situation). What little survey data we have has people agreeing with that being dangerous. A majority believe 12 to be too young. When I was 12 I was riding public transport one hour to school and back. My brother was 7. I was there as backup for him but he could do it by himself. And if he got lost, he’d have found his way home by asking local shops for instructions. My parents would have been “neglectful” by this metric but both he and I loved this freedom. We were both loved and cared for and were top students. They would have been scared if he got lost but it wouldn’t be grounds for revocation of freedom. My parents were right. I am right. This majority of people who want me to chop my kids off at the knees are wrong.
- awb 5y ago
  > My parents were right. I am right. This majority of people who want me to chop my kids off at the knees are wrong. I’m glad they were the right parents for you. I’m a parent too, and I wouldn’t be ready to call a parent right or wrong based on being on either side of those situations. Every child is different. There are certainly some that thrive with more freedom and others that need more structure and direct participation. Also, every time and region is different. I’d hope people parent differently in high crime areas vs. low crime areas. And pedestrian friendly / public transportation friendly areas vs. not. I agree that “dangerous” is a subjective metric, and that’s why morally good parenting feels to me more like a spectrum than an absolute.
  - renewiltord 5y ago
    I agree with you entirely, but while I would permit them to parent how they desire, they want to constrain me, so the relationship isn't symmetric. I have no problem with other people helicopter-parenting their kids. Just leave me and my family be. But that's not what most Americans want. They want to set the state on people like me.

by awb 5y ago

renewiltord 5y ago

The magic is the question of “dangerous”. The spectrum of “dangerous” includes “played in a park by herself at 9 yo” (the Debra Harrell situation). What little survey data we have has people agreeing with that being dangerous. A majority believe 12 to be too young. When I was 12 I was riding public transport one hour to school and back. My brother was 7. I was there as backup for him but he could do it by himself. And if he got lost, he’d have found his way home by asking local shops for instructions. My parents would have been “neglectful” by this metric but both he and I loved this freedom. We were both loved and cared for and were top students. They would have been scared if he got lost but it wouldn’t be grounds for revocation of freedom. My parents were right. I am right. This majority of people who want me to chop my kids off at the knees are wrong.

awb 5y ago
> My parents were right. I am right. This majority of people who want me to chop my kids off at the knees are wrong. I’m glad they were the right parents for you. I’m a parent too, and I wouldn’t be ready to call a parent right or wrong based on being on either side of those situations. Every child is different. There are certainly some that thrive with more freedom and others that need more structure and direct participation. Also, every time and region is different. I’d hope people parent differently in high crime areas vs. low crime areas. And pedestrian friendly / public transportation friendly areas vs. not. I agree that “dangerous” is a subjective metric, and that’s why morally good parenting feels to me more like a spectrum than an absolute.
- renewiltord 5y ago
  I agree with you entirely, but while I would permit them to parent how they desire, they want to constrain me, so the relationship isn't symmetric. I have no problem with other people helicopter-parenting their kids. Just leave me and my family be. But that's not what most Americans want. They want to set the state on people like me.