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I agree with others that social awkwardness is something that just lessens over time. I mean, you may still be awkward, but so is almost everyone else, and you
by nvarsj 5y ago
I agree with others that social awkwardness is something that just lessens over time. I mean, you may still be awkward, but so is almost everyone else, and you realize that no one actually cares about your awkwardness. Actually, almost everyone else is focused on their own awkwardness. The smoothest talkers are those who have actively worked on their social skills and are even more self focused.
So - socialize more, get older, and stop worrying about what others think of you, and you'll find it stops mattering. If you want, you can also turn yourself into a smooth talking politician/comedian/whatever through deliberate practice, to reduce any bumps of awkwardness. But I think this is only worth doing to achieve some personal goal.
I would say though that actual social anxiety is a different beast. I had severe social anxiety into my 30s, and the only thing that really helped with that was drugs and therapy.
- hvl2 5y agoWhat drugs and therapy helped you?
- nvarsj 5y agoTherapy is what helped me the most long term, and I think is the only really solution for true anxiety. It requires finding the right therapist though - I went through a few before I found someone. I put this off for so long because of the cost and, of course, the anxiety just meeting a new therapist. I think for me talking to a male therapist in particular really helped for some reason. I used various drugs to help me "get through life" before therapy. My anxiety was completely crushing, and I felt I had no other choice. In retrospect, I wish I had just gotten good therapy in my 20s, because living nearly 3 decades with intense social anxiety just really freakin' sucks and drags down all aspects of life. And with real long term anxiety, it takes a skilled third party to get your brain patterns to change enough to overcome it long term. I'd say I also think I'm a "highly sensitive person", which means my primitive brain reacts more strongly to external stimuli. I think it explains a lot of my struggle in retrospect. I still feel stressed in social situations, but I know how to deal with it now mentally - I consciously recognize what is happening, and calm down the screaming part of my brain, and the anxiety mostly goes away.