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That's the very reason why I don't want full remote as a norm. I want to see my people and meet colleagues, for a good laugh or whatever but for human interacti

That's the very reason why I don't want full remote as a norm. I want to see my people and meet colleagues, for a good laugh or whatever but for human interactions that I value a lot. Very sad story here, twice as sad with that profound lack of human interaction...

willcipriano 5y ago
For me, "my people" are at home. The transactional work relationships do nothing for me on a human or social level. It's like when a pretty waitress is nice to you, it means little since she is paid to be nice.
- toomuchtodo 5y ago
  Second this. Colleagues are just people I interact with to receive a wage. Friends and loved ones are elsewhere and at home.
- deleted 5y ago
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- Angostura 5y ago
  whereas I generally like people. You say: "The transactional work relationships do nothing for me on a human or social level" perhaps the mistake you are making is seeing any interaction with the people at work as purely transactional - or being absolutely determined to keep it that way. I have a family and kids and friends. But I absolutely have friends who I have made at work as well. I quite regularly go out for a beer with people I worked with in the 1990s.
  - willcipriano 5y ago
    Here's the problem. If I talk with my friends and misspeak or say something I don't mean, worst case is I lose the friendship. At work I lose my livelyhood. That means I have to have a constant cognitive overhead at all times at work, I am unable to explore ideas that don't fit into that narrow box. If your life fits entirely into the confines of polite society maybe you don't have this worry, but I can't bring my full self into these situations and that makes it feel transactional to me. The narrow workplace acceptable box is full of activities and thoughts that I'm long bored of. That means workplace interactions will be boring by definition.
    - Angostura 5y ago
      I suspect that there are probably literally an infinity of thoughts and concepts that it is acceptable to talk about at work.
      - willcipriano 5y ago
        Everything except politics, religion, sexuality, drug use, firearms, philosophy and your ambitions in life (unless they are die working here). You also don't want to bring up things like playing video games too much, or going out for drinks too often, unless people get the wrong impression about you. Getting too personal about issues you are facing in life also can be career limiting.
        Angostura 5y ago
        I'm pretty sure I know about the sexuality of my coworkers - not something that come up as a matter of conversation much, just gets mentioned in passing and most of the company has pronouns in their e-mail signatures, now so that's gender sorted. Firearms doesn't come up because I'm in the UK. Yes, I know about the ambitions of most, and who is thinking of resigning in a month or so. I think I'm the onlly gamer and people think it's highly amusing that I watch Twitch streams in my late 50s, but hey. Sure, I'd tend to avoid politics and religion - but those are hardly massively limiting constraints.
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willcipriano 5y ago

For me, "my people" are at home. The transactional work relationships do nothing for me on a human or social level. It's like when a pretty waitress is nice to you, it means little since she is paid to be nice.

toomuchtodo 5y ago
Second this. Colleagues are just people I interact with to receive a wage. Friends and loved ones are elsewhere and at home.
deleted 5y ago
[deleted]
Angostura 5y ago
whereas I generally like people. You say: "The transactional work relationships do nothing for me on a human or social level" perhaps the mistake you are making is seeing any interaction with the people at work as purely transactional - or being absolutely determined to keep it that way. I have a family and kids and friends. But I absolutely have friends who I have made at work as well. I quite regularly go out for a beer with people I worked with in the 1990s.
- willcipriano 5y ago
  Here's the problem. If I talk with my friends and misspeak or say something I don't mean, worst case is I lose the friendship. At work I lose my livelyhood. That means I have to have a constant cognitive overhead at all times at work, I am unable to explore ideas that don't fit into that narrow box. If your life fits entirely into the confines of polite society maybe you don't have this worry, but I can't bring my full self into these situations and that makes it feel transactional to me. The narrow workplace acceptable box is full of activities and thoughts that I'm long bored of. That means workplace interactions will be boring by definition.
  - Angostura 5y ago
    I suspect that there are probably literally an infinity of thoughts and concepts that it is acceptable to talk about at work.
    - willcipriano 5y ago
      Everything except politics, religion, sexuality, drug use, firearms, philosophy and your ambitions in life (unless they are die working here). You also don't want to bring up things like playing video games too much, or going out for drinks too often, unless people get the wrong impression about you. Getting too personal about issues you are facing in life also can be career limiting.
      - Angostura 5y ago
        I'm pretty sure I know about the sexuality of my coworkers - not something that come up as a matter of conversation much, just gets mentioned in passing and most of the company has pronouns in their e-mail signatures, now so that's gender sorted. Firearms doesn't come up because I'm in the UK. Yes, I know about the ambitions of most, and who is thinking of resigning in a month or so. I think I'm the onlly gamer and people think it's highly amusing that I watch Twitch streams in my late 50s, but hey. Sure, I'd tend to avoid politics and religion - but those are hardly massively limiting constraints.

deleted 5y ago

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