I feel the same pain as you do about being complicit in all of this and I have no ready answers. The best I managed to do is that my family's email addresses u

I feel the same pain as you do about being complicit in all of this and I have no ready answers. The best I managed to do is that my family's email addresses use a custom domain I manage so I am not locked into a single webmail provider. Occasionally I have to deal with some issue or delivery delays (especially for authentication emails) but it's orders of magnitude less effort than when I made the mistake of trying to run my own mailserver.