9 ms·

I've found cities fascinating all my life - and I've also found them incredibly stressful to spend a long amount of time in. I've also never lived in one fullti

I've found cities fascinating all my life - and I've also found them incredibly stressful to spend a long amount of time in. I've also never lived in one fulltime, which may be a factor, and I grew up in a rural, economically depressed corner of England, so...that too. But the "putting down roots" thing. When the pandemic hit I was renting a cabin in a corner of Scotland after selling my family home, prior to a few years of nomadism in Europe. And I realised I had so many roots online - meaningful ones, some with friends I've probably spent hundreds of hours talking to, but rarely get to meet in person. And maybe that's a new version of "putting down roots" that has never been easier? So maybe there's a traditional prejudice with that term, one that doesn't fit the newer, more fluid reality for so many folk. (Not just younger generations, either! I was 50 last year.) All this reminds me a bit of Venkat Rao talking about permanent nomads, and how their constant movement is how they feel stable and rested: https://www.ribbonfarm.com/2011/07/31/on-being-an-illegible-person/ https://www.ribbonfarm.com/2011/07/31/on-being-an-illegible-... Maybe many folk look "unrooted" but they're actually rooted in ways many people just can't get their heads around properly? Maybe (maybe) it's sometimes not about the place at all?

prohobo 5y ago
Most of my friendships are long distance nowadays, or over the internet, so I tend to know people for like half of my life and meet them once a year if it all. That's all good, but sometimes I just think why not actually organize and do something? Everyone is struggling with their own things and we talk about it often, but it'd be great to actually contribute and help each other out. It feels like everyone is always in their own world. It's not a very productive way to live. And yeah, I can respect a real nomad; but at least create some bases!
- bandibus 5y ago
  Agreed - but I think some of that is just people being people. I know very settled & traditionally rooted folk who have absolutely retreated from the world. I don't think being in one place automatically makes you more sociable and communally minded. (Also, the longer you're somewhere, the more you tune stuff out & stop seeing what's really going on around you...) So yep, totally agree that a siloed existence is a miserable one - and unhealthy too. I just think it can happen everywhere, including in small communities. It sounds super-trite, but there's nothing that kicks me out of a self-absorbed funk more than genuinely helping a friend with something and feeling like I did a good thing. That's not really a location phenomenon, that's more an attitude-based one? And it's infectious too. We're all herd animals really...

prohobo 5y ago

Most of my friendships are long distance nowadays, or over the internet, so I tend to know people for like half of my life and meet them once a year if it all. That's all good, but sometimes I just think why not actually organize and do something? Everyone is struggling with their own things and we talk about it often, but it'd be great to actually contribute and help each other out. It feels like everyone is always in their own world. It's not a very productive way to live. And yeah, I can respect a real nomad; but at least create some bases!

bandibus 5y ago
Agreed - but I think some of that is just people being people. I know very settled & traditionally rooted folk who have absolutely retreated from the world. I don't think being in one place automatically makes you more sociable and communally minded. (Also, the longer you're somewhere, the more you tune stuff out & stop seeing what's really going on around you...) So yep, totally agree that a siloed existence is a miserable one - and unhealthy too. I just think it can happen everywhere, including in small communities. It sounds super-trite, but there's nothing that kicks me out of a self-absorbed funk more than genuinely helping a friend with something and feeling like I did a good thing. That's not really a location phenomenon, that's more an attitude-based one? And it's infectious too. We're all herd animals really...