7 ms·

Several years ago my wife and I agreed we'd actively start making a baby and quit contraceptives. She was on the pill (progestogen-only) and we'd been using it

by ane 5y ago

Several years ago my wife and I agreed we'd actively start making a baby and quit contraceptives. She was on the pill (progestogen-only) and we'd been using it for the better part of three years. Worked fine, she took it religiously at the same time every day. So we agreed to quit, and the next day she comes to me, awkwardly, saying "It worked!" half-jokingly. I stared at the pregnancy test, positive and unambiguous as ever. At the second test, too. Turns out she'd been already pregnant for almost a month. That kind of contraceptive is only 99% effective. Our daughter was born eight months later. Safe to say, the missing percentage is warranted.

tsol 5y ago
Who first started the conversation? I wonder if the hormones swirling through her system made her more likely to feel ready for a child. Or perhaps the pregnancy induced change in her pheromones suddenly made you feel more nurturing of her. Probably not, but it's funny how sometimes things work out like that
dskloet 5y ago
I thought the contraceptive doesn't prevent the pregnancy but just causes the body to menstruate regardless. So she might have been pregnant many times but this time it wasn't terminated by mensuration? (I'm certainly not very confident in my understanding.)
- nl 5y ago
  No, this is incorrect. > The birth control pill works by stopping sperm from joining with an egg. When sperm joins with an egg it’s called fertilization. > The hormones in the pill safely stop ovulation. No ovulation means there’s no egg for sperm to fertilize, so pregnancy can’t happen. > The pill’s hormones also thicken the mucus on the cervix. This thicker cervical mucus blocks sperm so it can’t swim to an egg — kind of like a sticky security guard. https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control/birth-control-pill https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control/birth-...
  - KyeRussell 5y ago
    Or as my partner says: my tummy is making a baby nest, but it’s always empty.
  - jonstaab 5y ago
    This is correct with the additional caveat that the pill also thins the uterine lining, making it difficult for the embryo to implant in the rare event of fertilization. So for people concerned about avoiding an abortion, the pill rarely, but not never, results in abortion.
- gwbas1c 5y ago
  I vaguely remember misinformation about birth control in Catholic school. They told us that IUDs kill fertilized eggs. It was completely wrong.
brailsafe 5y ago
sizzle 5y ago
If the timeline of conception feels off or extraordinary, you owe it to yourself to get a DNA test. 18 years is a long time friend. Trust but verify.
- KyeRussell 5y ago
  I’m…not sure I follow. Are you implying that her contraceptive pill was somehow less effective against the sperm of someone else?
  - sizzle 5y ago
    That there are situations where women have affairs and get pregnant in very narrow timelines then have their partner think it’s their child. Putting the morality of this aside and speaking practically, unsuspecting men should have a DNA test if the timeline of conception feels off or extraordinary.
    - samhw 5y ago
      Does it really matter whose child it is? You seem to be writing this as if she might give birth to a goblin or something like that. I can't see what's "speaking practically" and "putting the morality aside" here, because there's not really any practical difference.
      - ycombinete 5y ago
        > Does it really matter whose child it is? I'm not sure I understand. Are you asking why it matters for a man to unknowingly raise another man's child, which his wife conceived while being unfaithful to him?
      - agent008t 5y ago
        It's a question of trust, for starters?
        cycomanic 5y ago
gwbas1c 5y ago
Yeah, my wife an I had the conversation and decided that she was going to go off of birth control in a few weeks. Two weeks later, she missed her period. I promised to get a vasectomy on the spot. A few weeks later she learned that her sister also had an oops. They both gave birth within a few days of each other.
rayiner 5y ago
Typically, it’s 99% per year or something like that. Even with perfect use that’s a 1 in 10 chance per decade.
- AlwaysRock 5y ago
  Yeah I always wondered what the 99% actually means. 99% of the times you have intercourse? 99% out of 100? 99% per some time frame? The pill always worried me a bit when younger because most women I knew didnt take it religiously at the same time everyday and it wasnt clear if we were then... 75% safe? 50% safe? 98% safe? I guess it was enough safe enough for me but I imagine it could have gone the other way pretty easily.
  - reducesuffering 5y ago
    Birth control metrics are almost always phrased as "X % couples having regular intercourse won't get pregnant." So pill and IUD being 99% means 1 / 100 heterosexual couples will get pregnant every year, on average.

by ane 5y ago

tsol 5y ago

Who first started the conversation? I wonder if the hormones swirling through her system made her more likely to feel ready for a child. Or perhaps the pregnancy induced change in her pheromones suddenly made you feel more nurturing of her. Probably not, but it's funny how sometimes things work out like that

dskloet 5y ago

I thought the contraceptive doesn't prevent the pregnancy but just causes the body to menstruate regardless. So she might have been pregnant many times but this time it wasn't terminated by mensuration? (I'm certainly not very confident in my understanding.)

nl 5y ago
No, this is incorrect. > The birth control pill works by stopping sperm from joining with an egg. When sperm joins with an egg it’s called fertilization. > The hormones in the pill safely stop ovulation. No ovulation means there’s no egg for sperm to fertilize, so pregnancy can’t happen. > The pill’s hormones also thicken the mucus on the cervix. This thicker cervical mucus blocks sperm so it can’t swim to an egg — kind of like a sticky security guard. https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control/birth-control-pill https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control/birth-...
- KyeRussell 5y ago
  Or as my partner says: my tummy is making a baby nest, but it’s always empty.
- jonstaab 5y ago
  This is correct with the additional caveat that the pill also thins the uterine lining, making it difficult for the embryo to implant in the rare event of fertilization. So for people concerned about avoiding an abortion, the pill rarely, but not never, results in abortion.
gwbas1c 5y ago
I vaguely remember misinformation about birth control in Catholic school. They told us that IUDs kill fertilized eggs. It was completely wrong.

brailsafe 5y ago

sizzle 5y ago

If the timeline of conception feels off or extraordinary, you owe it to yourself to get a DNA test. 18 years is a long time friend. Trust but verify.

KyeRussell 5y ago
I’m…not sure I follow. Are you implying that her contraceptive pill was somehow less effective against the sperm of someone else?
- sizzle 5y ago
  That there are situations where women have affairs and get pregnant in very narrow timelines then have their partner think it’s their child. Putting the morality of this aside and speaking practically, unsuspecting men should have a DNA test if the timeline of conception feels off or extraordinary.
  - samhw 5y ago
    Does it really matter whose child it is? You seem to be writing this as if she might give birth to a goblin or something like that. I can't see what's "speaking practically" and "putting the morality aside" here, because there's not really any practical difference.
    - ycombinete 5y ago
      > Does it really matter whose child it is? I'm not sure I understand. Are you asking why it matters for a man to unknowingly raise another man's child, which his wife conceived while being unfaithful to him?
    - agent008t 5y ago
      It's a question of trust, for starters?
      - cycomanic 5y ago

gwbas1c 5y ago

Yeah, my wife an I had the conversation and decided that she was going to go off of birth control in a few weeks. Two weeks later, she missed her period. I promised to get a vasectomy on the spot. A few weeks later she learned that her sister also had an oops. They both gave birth within a few days of each other.

rayiner 5y ago

Typically, it’s 99% per year or something like that. Even with perfect use that’s a 1 in 10 chance per decade.

AlwaysRock 5y ago
Yeah I always wondered what the 99% actually means. 99% of the times you have intercourse? 99% out of 100? 99% per some time frame? The pill always worried me a bit when younger because most women I knew didnt take it religiously at the same time everyday and it wasnt clear if we were then... 75% safe? 50% safe? 98% safe? I guess it was enough safe enough for me but I imagine it could have gone the other way pretty easily.
- reducesuffering 5y ago
  Birth control metrics are almost always phrased as "X % couples having regular intercourse won't get pregnant." So pill and IUD being 99% means 1 / 100 heterosexual couples will get pregnant every year, on average.