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Here's what I would tell my 35 year old self. If you try to get financially better off, in seven years you'll probably be only slightly better off if at all, a

Here's what I would tell my 35 year old self. If you try to get financially better off, in seven years you'll probably be only slightly better off if at all, and you won't have kids. At that point you probably can't. If you have kids at 35, you may very well go bankrupt. It will be off your credit in seven years, and you'll have a seven year old. The second option will be happier (if you want kids).

unmole 5y ago
> in seven years you'll probably be only slightly better off if at all That seems rather pessimistic. You don't expect any career progression or wealth accumulation in seven years?
- Kye 5y ago
  Watching friends struggle and work hard while making little progress for years as job after job rejects them for being overqualified or for not already having 30 years of experience tells me this is a reasonable expectation. If there was a ladder up, it's been conclusively kicked down. Some of them get lucky with a tech job and, if all goes well from here, might retire before 80.
  - unmole 5y ago
    This doesn't match my experience at all. My perspective might obviously be skewed by living in an emerging market economy but I don't know anyone who hasn't seen an improvement in their financial circumstances over seven years, Covid notwithstanding. I really don't think there are a lot of people on HN who are stuck in dead end jobs with no growth. And as harsh as it may sound, if someone can't retire before 80 despite working a tech job, I'm inclined to think they're just bad with money.
    - Kye 5y ago
      Who said anything about people on HN? The friends I'm talking about mostly work retail paying off degrees that were supposed to get them good jobs. The US is not an emerging market economy where there's a lot of potential growth. You either get a job in tech, probably moving away from everything and everyone you've ever known (hard), or you try to create some niche at the intersection of your skills and interests (still hard, but less dictated by random luck). There really isn't an option C unless you had a privileged upbringing.
      - iwudn 5y ago
        There’s a lot more options here. Being stuck in retail jobs sucks if that’s not something you want to do. And I get that. I worked in retail and other shitty jobs for years getting paid $12 an hour in my 20s. But you don’t need to have a privileged upbringing to progress. It 100% helps but it’s also possible without it. I know people who washed dishes for years, with no college degrees for them or their parents, and go on to do something like welding and making a lot more. People could also work in tech remotely now, so they don’t have to move away. For example, retail folks could get entry level customer support jobs in tech companies. Those people skills are certainly transferable. The support job could be their foot in the door to other tech positions.
- toast0 5y ago
  If you want to be more optimistic... if you're at 35 and don't think you're financially ready for kids, look at the progress and accumulation you've done in the past seven years. If you need to increase the rate of change on those to hit your targets, you've got 17 years of experience as an adult to know if that's realistic or not. Also, a lot of people get fixated on being fully prepared for kids. Like wanting to be in a 4 bedroom house before you have the first of three kids. That'd be nice, but you've got some time before you really need that space. I'd say if you're late 20s and have a stable living environment and a desire to have children, strongly consider doing it when you're sure, even if your living environment isn't perfect. You've also got some lead time, if you're worried about your kids going to a good (enough) school, that's not something that needs to be taken care of until close to them being school aged (although certainly, it doesn't hurt to let that influence earlier choices).

unmole 5y ago

> in seven years you'll probably be only slightly better off if at all That seems rather pessimistic. You don't expect any career progression or wealth accumulation in seven years?

Kye 5y ago
Watching friends struggle and work hard while making little progress for years as job after job rejects them for being overqualified or for not already having 30 years of experience tells me this is a reasonable expectation. If there was a ladder up, it's been conclusively kicked down. Some of them get lucky with a tech job and, if all goes well from here, might retire before 80.
- unmole 5y ago
  This doesn't match my experience at all. My perspective might obviously be skewed by living in an emerging market economy but I don't know anyone who hasn't seen an improvement in their financial circumstances over seven years, Covid notwithstanding. I really don't think there are a lot of people on HN who are stuck in dead end jobs with no growth. And as harsh as it may sound, if someone can't retire before 80 despite working a tech job, I'm inclined to think they're just bad with money.
  - Kye 5y ago
    Who said anything about people on HN? The friends I'm talking about mostly work retail paying off degrees that were supposed to get them good jobs. The US is not an emerging market economy where there's a lot of potential growth. You either get a job in tech, probably moving away from everything and everyone you've ever known (hard), or you try to create some niche at the intersection of your skills and interests (still hard, but less dictated by random luck). There really isn't an option C unless you had a privileged upbringing.
    - iwudn 5y ago
      There’s a lot more options here. Being stuck in retail jobs sucks if that’s not something you want to do. And I get that. I worked in retail and other shitty jobs for years getting paid $12 an hour in my 20s. But you don’t need to have a privileged upbringing to progress. It 100% helps but it’s also possible without it. I know people who washed dishes for years, with no college degrees for them or their parents, and go on to do something like welding and making a lot more. People could also work in tech remotely now, so they don’t have to move away. For example, retail folks could get entry level customer support jobs in tech companies. Those people skills are certainly transferable. The support job could be their foot in the door to other tech positions.
toast0 5y ago
If you want to be more optimistic... if you're at 35 and don't think you're financially ready for kids, look at the progress and accumulation you've done in the past seven years. If you need to increase the rate of change on those to hit your targets, you've got 17 years of experience as an adult to know if that's realistic or not. Also, a lot of people get fixated on being fully prepared for kids. Like wanting to be in a 4 bedroom house before you have the first of three kids. That'd be nice, but you've got some time before you really need that space. I'd say if you're late 20s and have a stable living environment and a desire to have children, strongly consider doing it when you're sure, even if your living environment isn't perfect. You've also got some lead time, if you're worried about your kids going to a good (enough) school, that's not something that needs to be taken care of until close to them being school aged (although certainly, it doesn't hurt to let that influence earlier choices).