5 ms·

I wish I had realized that I was still young. I had some early startup-ish projects in the late-nineties/early-2k's, they crashed and burned with the dotcom cr

I wish I had realized that I was still young. I had some early startup-ish projects in the late-nineties/early-2k's, they crashed and burned with the dotcom crash, and I felt like I had lost any chance at making something cool or any kind of impact. I even felt like, at the age of 28, I was too old for dating and had missed all my opportunities. Things picked up for me in every respect — professional and personal — at age 35. You really are as young as you feel.

adar 5y ago
As someone who just turned 35 last week, thanks for this.
splatzone 5y ago
This is encouraging. Thank you
HstryrsrBttn 5y ago
Don't. Take time to know your partner: minimum 2years, have vacations _and_ reflect on them -- if _anything_ heavily irritating or strong arguments arise trust your gust and don't marry, don't try to justify. Married a paranoid schizophrenic with realising to late -- didn't know all family members (several relatives on the maternal and paternal side have it too) Know the family. Don't try to justify think you picked a healthy exemplar too early -- again: wait 2y+, know their past. Any clinical interventions: stay away. Otherwise as soon as children are involved this will be years of horror. Trust me.
- Eric_WVGG 5y ago
cannabis_sam 5y ago
Thank you! I think there are a lot of us who need to (or at least can benefit from) hearing this.
wodenokoto 5y ago
30 is the new 20. I had a talk with a friend the other day about how 50 year olds used to be old. They just don’t look or feel that way now a days
- lawlorino 5y ago
  I sometimes think this, but then I wonder if it's just because I too got older.
  - wodenokoto 5y ago
    You can look at old movies. George Costanza is thirty in season one of Seinfeld. He could easily go for mid 40s.
- deleted 5y ago
  [deleted]
- schwartzworld 5y ago
  A lot of that is because your image of 50 year olds is dated to what they were like when you were younger.
sircastor 5y ago
This is one for me too. My whole adult life I’ve felt like I was “behind” in everything I was doing, only to realize with age that I was fine and there is no universal rule about where you should be at a given age. Make the most of yourself right now.
dorchadas 5y ago
> I even felt like, at the age of 28, I was too old for dating and had missed all my opportunities. I feel this immensely at 29, turning 30 this year. Especially after moving from another country and having all my friends in long-term relationships. Now just to get out there and have some confidence in approaching people.
- FWKevents 5y ago
  Hey, I have a strategy for you that I used for dating. When I was 30, and still single, it was frightening and bewildering since all my friends were married or partnered, but I wasn't. The men my age that I was meeting were still single for a reason. Without internet dating (this was the mid-1990s) I was stuck relying on friends and colleagues, who all said they didn't know anyone suitable who was still single. My chances of meeting someone were dwindling, and I was getting older. When you're female, that's a death sentence for your wish to have kids. As my life turned out, I'm glad I didn't meet anyone and have kids at that time, because I started a company that went from zero to half-million dollars-a-year in a few years. I poured all that energy that I would have invested in a family into my business. Still, the unknown about whether I would meet someone I could eventually marry did nag at me. I knew I was past the point of having children, but still... Finally when I was in my late 40s, artificial intelligence had matured enough that I could rely on it to find me a mate. This was in 2011. I registered for OKCupid and, after a few good dates that were a breath of fresh air after not meeting anyone suitable for so long, I met my now-husband with seemingly little effort. As if that wasn't enough of a miracle, my now-husband was a widower, and had a 7 year-old girl he had adopted from Russia. We have raised her together as our daughter. She's now 17, and is the love of my life (besides my husband, of course.) OKCupid has since been overtaken by Tinder, Hinge, Bumble and match.com. But that's because match.com realized OKCupid's A.I. was a much better system for meeting people, and it was free, too! Match.com bought OKCupid in 2011 with the intention of burying it by doing absolutely no marketing, which is where it stands now. The great thing about OKCupid was the match score. A caveat here- you have to answer HUNDREDS OF HARD MORAL QUESTIONS for the OKCupid A.I. to work properly. I answered 800 questions over a period of 2 weeks at night, from 10pm to midnight, after I was done running my biggish small business. My husband was, at the same time, slowly answering 1000 questions. Even just the commitment level displayed by taking the time to answer the moral questions, and to take the exercise seriously, is in itself a good indicator of whether the person is earnest or not. It certainly guarantees you're not wasting time with a bot or a scammer. (Romance scams now support the economy of entire developing countries, and have gotten super out-of-hand.) So, once you've answered hundreds of questions, I found the match scores to be totally trustworthy. The dates I mentioned that I enjoyed were over a 90% match score. (Being a confident and smart heterosexual woman who runs a successful business was lonely in the U.S. at that time. Feminism was still just an ideal, but not a typical lived experience like it is today. Less successful women were more fashionable as mates.) My husband got an OKCupid match score of 99% with me! And, indeed, he's one of the best-matched people, male or female, that I've ever known. We have now been married for almost 10 happy years. I credit artificial intelligence with my happiness in my marriage and with my lovely daughter, too. Good luck to you. I wish for you the same success I had in my late 40s. Luckily for you, you don't have to wait for A.I. to develop. It's already here!

adar 5y ago

As someone who just turned 35 last week, thanks for this.

splatzone 5y ago

This is encouraging. Thank you

HstryrsrBttn 5y ago

Don't. Take time to know your partner: minimum 2years, have vacations _and_ reflect on them -- if _anything_ heavily irritating or strong arguments arise trust your gust and don't marry, don't try to justify. Married a paranoid schizophrenic with realising to late -- didn't know all family members (several relatives on the maternal and paternal side have it too) Know the family. Don't try to justify think you picked a healthy exemplar too early -- again: wait 2y+, know their past. Any clinical interventions: stay away. Otherwise as soon as children are involved this will be years of horror. Trust me.

Eric_WVGG 5y ago

cannabis_sam 5y ago

Thank you! I think there are a lot of us who need to (or at least can benefit from) hearing this.

wodenokoto 5y ago

30 is the new 20. I had a talk with a friend the other day about how 50 year olds used to be old. They just don’t look or feel that way now a days

lawlorino 5y ago
I sometimes think this, but then I wonder if it's just because I too got older.
- wodenokoto 5y ago
  You can look at old movies. George Costanza is thirty in season one of Seinfeld. He could easily go for mid 40s.
deleted 5y ago
[deleted]
schwartzworld 5y ago
A lot of that is because your image of 50 year olds is dated to what they were like when you were younger.

sircastor 5y ago

This is one for me too. My whole adult life I’ve felt like I was “behind” in everything I was doing, only to realize with age that I was fine and there is no universal rule about where you should be at a given age. Make the most of yourself right now.

dorchadas 5y ago

> I even felt like, at the age of 28, I was too old for dating and had missed all my opportunities. I feel this immensely at 29, turning 30 this year. Especially after moving from another country and having all my friends in long-term relationships. Now just to get out there and have some confidence in approaching people.

FWKevents 5y ago
Hey, I have a strategy for you that I used for dating. When I was 30, and still single, it was frightening and bewildering since all my friends were married or partnered, but I wasn't. The men my age that I was meeting were still single for a reason. Without internet dating (this was the mid-1990s) I was stuck relying on friends and colleagues, who all said they didn't know anyone suitable who was still single. My chances of meeting someone were dwindling, and I was getting older. When you're female, that's a death sentence for your wish to have kids. As my life turned out, I'm glad I didn't meet anyone and have kids at that time, because I started a company that went from zero to half-million dollars-a-year in a few years. I poured all that energy that I would have invested in a family into my business. Still, the unknown about whether I would meet someone I could eventually marry did nag at me. I knew I was past the point of having children, but still... Finally when I was in my late 40s, artificial intelligence had matured enough that I could rely on it to find me a mate. This was in 2011. I registered for OKCupid and, after a few good dates that were a breath of fresh air after not meeting anyone suitable for so long, I met my now-husband with seemingly little effort. As if that wasn't enough of a miracle, my now-husband was a widower, and had a 7 year-old girl he had adopted from Russia. We have raised her together as our daughter. She's now 17, and is the love of my life (besides my husband, of course.) OKCupid has since been overtaken by Tinder, Hinge, Bumble and match.com. But that's because match.com realized OKCupid's A.I. was a much better system for meeting people, and it was free, too! Match.com bought OKCupid in 2011 with the intention of burying it by doing absolutely no marketing, which is where it stands now. The great thing about OKCupid was the match score. A caveat here- you have to answer HUNDREDS OF HARD MORAL QUESTIONS for the OKCupid A.I. to work properly. I answered 800 questions over a period of 2 weeks at night, from 10pm to midnight, after I was done running my biggish small business. My husband was, at the same time, slowly answering 1000 questions. Even just the commitment level displayed by taking the time to answer the moral questions, and to take the exercise seriously, is in itself a good indicator of whether the person is earnest or not. It certainly guarantees you're not wasting time with a bot or a scammer. (Romance scams now support the economy of entire developing countries, and have gotten super out-of-hand.) So, once you've answered hundreds of questions, I found the match scores to be totally trustworthy. The dates I mentioned that I enjoyed were over a 90% match score. (Being a confident and smart heterosexual woman who runs a successful business was lonely in the U.S. at that time. Feminism was still just an ideal, but not a typical lived experience like it is today. Less successful women were more fashionable as mates.) My husband got an OKCupid match score of 99% with me! And, indeed, he's one of the best-matched people, male or female, that I've ever known. We have now been married for almost 10 happy years. I credit artificial intelligence with my happiness in my marriage and with my lovely daughter, too. Good luck to you. I wish for you the same success I had in my late 40s. Luckily for you, you don't have to wait for A.I. to develop. It's already here!