3 ms·

A good compromise would be something like asking people what the time is, or if they know any good restaurants in the area or something that isn't really asking

A good compromise would be something like asking people what the time is, or if they know any good restaurants in the area or something that isn't really asking them for something weird.

munificent 5y ago
But that's not rejection therapy. That's just talking to strangers, which is totally reasonable. The point of rejection therapy is to make a request in a pushy enough way for something that the other person doesn't want to do that they end up assertively saying no. It's not "friendly offer therapy" or "polite decline therapy".
- beaconstudios 5y ago
  Alright then, how about asking out random people on a date after like a 2 minute conversation? That's a kind of rejection people often fear the most but it's also fairly normal to ask people out after a little small talk. My point is that you don't have to push other people into strange territory to get rejected.
  - munificent 5y ago
    > Alright then, how about asking out random people on a date after like a 2 minute conversation? If it's not your honest intention to date them, that's still a shitty thing to do. Would you want someone doing this to you?
    - beaconstudios 5y ago
      I was thinking that you'd actually ask out people you're attracted to. Why would you be nervous to be rejected by someone you wouldn't actually want to date and thus weren't invested in the answer?
      - munificent 5y ago
        > I was thinking that you'd actually ask out people you're attracted to. At that point, you're not doing "rejection therapy", you're just asking people out. > Why would you be nervous to be rejected by someone you wouldn't actually want to date and thus weren't invested in the answer? The premise behind rejection therapy is that some people do feel intense anxiety about being rejected even in cases where the stakes are low like this, and deliberately seeking rejection is essentially exposure therapy to get over that.
        beaconstudios 5y ago
        OK I could keep trying to come up with off-the-cuff examples and you could keep throwing asterisks on them, but instead I'll just say this: I think you can do rejection therapy with the public without putting people into a weird place.
- openknot 5y ago
  The best simulation activities would be to work in cold calls for a fundraising effort for a non-profit, or work as a journalist. This involves calling lots of strangers or semi-strangers to ask them for money in the former, and emailing lots of people to request interviews (who may be hostile) for the latter. Both activities have a useful end, and would let someone assertively say no.

A good compromise would be something like asking people what the time is, or if they know any good restaurants in the area or something that isn't really asking them for something weird.

munificent 5y ago

But that's not rejection therapy. That's just talking to strangers, which is totally reasonable. The point of rejection therapy is to make a request in a pushy enough way for something that the other person doesn't want to do that they end up assertively saying no. It's not "friendly offer therapy" or "polite decline therapy".

beaconstudios 5y ago
Alright then, how about asking out random people on a date after like a 2 minute conversation? That's a kind of rejection people often fear the most but it's also fairly normal to ask people out after a little small talk. My point is that you don't have to push other people into strange territory to get rejected.
- munificent 5y ago
  > Alright then, how about asking out random people on a date after like a 2 minute conversation? If it's not your honest intention to date them, that's still a shitty thing to do. Would you want someone doing this to you?
  - beaconstudios 5y ago
    I was thinking that you'd actually ask out people you're attracted to. Why would you be nervous to be rejected by someone you wouldn't actually want to date and thus weren't invested in the answer?
    - munificent 5y ago
      > I was thinking that you'd actually ask out people you're attracted to. At that point, you're not doing "rejection therapy", you're just asking people out. > Why would you be nervous to be rejected by someone you wouldn't actually want to date and thus weren't invested in the answer? The premise behind rejection therapy is that some people do feel intense anxiety about being rejected even in cases where the stakes are low like this, and deliberately seeking rejection is essentially exposure therapy to get over that.
      - beaconstudios 5y ago
        OK I could keep trying to come up with off-the-cuff examples and you could keep throwing asterisks on them, but instead I'll just say this: I think you can do rejection therapy with the public without putting people into a weird place.
openknot 5y ago
The best simulation activities would be to work in cold calls for a fundraising effort for a non-profit, or work as a journalist. This involves calling lots of strangers or semi-strangers to ask them for money in the former, and emailing lots of people to request interviews (who may be hostile) for the latter. Both activities have a useful end, and would let someone assertively say no.