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This is a tragedy of the commons scenario that will ultimately lead to people being less friendly. Right now it's assumed that if someone comes up to ask you fo

This is a tragedy of the commons scenario that will ultimately lead to people being less friendly. Right now it's assumed that if someone comes up to ask you for something, they have a good reason.

sacrosancty 5y ago
Jesus Christ, why so much hand-wringing? MLM salesmen exist, religious prostheletizers exist, weird people exist. We manage to stay friendly regardless, even towards those people who often open their conversation with something dishonest to hide their true intent. Society isn't going to be altered by some wave of asking-for-favors fad. It's all perfectly fine.
- whatshisface 5y ago
  >MLM salesmen exist, religious prostheletizers exist, weird people exist. Those three groups contribute substantially to what people expect when they meet a stranger in public and adding more disingenuous possibilities would make it worse.
  - morelisp 5y ago
    Since the context of this event was a rationality seminar, I think it even counts as a hat-trick.
turmeric_root 5y ago
omginternets 5y ago
I dunno, I've lived in places where casual interaction is more common, and it can be delightful. A culture of "don't talk to me unless there's a practical issue" is, at the very least, prone to atomization. In fact, I don't think you're quite right about the tacit assumption involved. I rather think it is assumed that if someone asks you something, they it is not for instrumental purposes. If someone is talking to me, it's because they want something; that request had better be legitimate. And this is what I find unnerving about "Rejection Therapy" and its ilk: I'm being used as a means to an end. I think we need more interaction with no-strings-attached, not less.
- whatshisface 5y ago
  I think we agree if you realize that talking to just talk, and talking to solve a real problem, are both good reasons to talk, while almost anything that involves concealed motivations is not.
openknot 5y ago
Eh, it seems pretty harmless (and overall beneficial, if it helps people treat a psychological issue). The reason is legitimately good, as it's indirectly helping a person overcome an issue. The favors seem harmless, with examples from the article including asking to try someone's sunglasses or to meditate with someone. Activities like these are also a part of exposure therapy for people with anxiety and/or a speech disorder. Separately, though this depends on your location, I already disbelieve that someone asking me for something has a good reason (which is a common attitude in dense cities). I immediately assume they're trying to pull a scam or sell me something, and most of the time, I'm correct. (A funny example of this attitude is one of the top posts on r/AskNYC, though I'm not based there [0].) If someone were to approach me just as an exercise to address a psychological issue, that would be a far better outcome than what I would expect. [0] "Millionth Cyclist on Manhattan Bridge" https://old.reddit.com/r/AskNYC/comments/dk76kv/millionth_cyclist_on_manhattan_bridge/ https://old.reddit.com/r/AskNYC/comments/dk76kv/millionth_cy...

This is a tragedy of the commons scenario that will ultimately lead to people being less friendly. Right now it's assumed that if someone comes up to ask you for something, they have a good reason.

sacrosancty 5y ago

Jesus Christ, why so much hand-wringing? MLM salesmen exist, religious prostheletizers exist, weird people exist. We manage to stay friendly regardless, even towards those people who often open their conversation with something dishonest to hide their true intent. Society isn't going to be altered by some wave of asking-for-favors fad. It's all perfectly fine.

whatshisface 5y ago
>MLM salesmen exist, religious prostheletizers exist, weird people exist. Those three groups contribute substantially to what people expect when they meet a stranger in public and adding more disingenuous possibilities would make it worse.
- morelisp 5y ago
  Since the context of this event was a rationality seminar, I think it even counts as a hat-trick.

turmeric_root 5y ago

omginternets 5y ago

I dunno, I've lived in places where casual interaction is more common, and it can be delightful. A culture of "don't talk to me unless there's a practical issue" is, at the very least, prone to atomization. In fact, I don't think you're quite right about the tacit assumption involved. I rather think it is assumed that if someone asks you something, they it is not for instrumental purposes. If someone is talking to me, it's because they want something; that request had better be legitimate. And this is what I find unnerving about "Rejection Therapy" and its ilk: I'm being used as a means to an end. I think we need more interaction with no-strings-attached, not less.

whatshisface 5y ago
I think we agree if you realize that talking to just talk, and talking to solve a real problem, are both good reasons to talk, while almost anything that involves concealed motivations is not.

openknot 5y ago

Eh, it seems pretty harmless (and overall beneficial, if it helps people treat a psychological issue). The reason is legitimately good, as it's indirectly helping a person overcome an issue. The favors seem harmless, with examples from the article including asking to try someone's sunglasses or to meditate with someone. Activities like these are also a part of exposure therapy for people with anxiety and/or a speech disorder. Separately, though this depends on your location, I already disbelieve that someone asking me for something has a good reason (which is a common attitude in dense cities). I immediately assume they're trying to pull a scam or sell me something, and most of the time, I'm correct. (A funny example of this attitude is one of the top posts on r/AskNYC, though I'm not based there [0].) If someone were to approach me just as an exercise to address a psychological issue, that would be a far better outcome than what I would expect. [0] "Millionth Cyclist on Manhattan Bridge" https://old.reddit.com/r/AskNYC/comments/dk76kv/millionth_cyclist_on_manhattan_bridge/ https://old.reddit.com/r/AskNYC/comments/dk76kv/millionth_cy...