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Similar to what the famous psychologist Albert Ellis did: "As an adolescent, Albert was extremely shy around ladies. At age 19, he started showing signs of thi

Similar to what the famous psychologist Albert Ellis did: "As an adolescent, Albert was extremely shy around ladies. At age 19, he started showing signs of thinking like a cognitive-behavioral therapist by forcing himself to talk to about 100 women in the Bronx Botanical Gardens within a period of one month. This helped him get rid of his fear of rejection by women."[1] "He found 130 women sitting alone that month on park benches. He sat next to all of them, whereupon 30 got up and walked away. He spoke to the remaining 100 — for the first time in his life — about the birds and the bees, the flowers, books, whatever came to mind. Al later said, "If Fred Skinner, who was then teaching at Indiana University, had known about my exploits, he would have thought I would have got extinguished, because of the 100 women I made one date — and she didn't show up! "But I prepared myself philosophically, even then, by seeing that nobody took out a stiletto and cut my balls off, nobody vomited and ran away, nobody called the cops. I had 100 pleasant conversations and with the second 100 I got good and made a few dates." [2] "Nobody took out a stiletto and cut my balls off" -- I've always loved that expression. [1] https://totallyhistory.com/albert-ellis/ https://totallyhistory.com/albert-ellis/ [2] http://www.rebtnetwork.org/ask/may06.html http://www.rebtnetwork.org/ask/may06.html

colpabar 5y ago
>"Nobody took out a stiletto and cut my balls off" -- I've always loved that expression. I think the modern era equivalent would be having your picture taken and posted on social media with the intent of shaming you. I cannot say for sure whether it's more likely to happen, but posting a pic on twitter is significantly easier than mutilating someone with a dagger. It'd be interesting to see how this would work out today.
- beaconstudios 5y ago
  Sure that could theoretically happen, but so what? Some people you don't know make fun of you for being awkward. It's not the end of the world!
- phkahler 5y ago
  >> It'd be interesting to see how this would work out today. Start after work today. Report in next month when you've tried 100 times.
- philosopher1234 5y ago
  This seems insanely far fetched. Why would someone photograph you just for talking to them?
  - cobertos 5y ago
    I walked by someone with a body cam yesterday who was stopping people to ask them about political beliefs in a abrasive way. People are definitely taking specifically crafted IRL things and using them as fuel in the digital space. Not in a big city either, a smaller satellite city of a bigg midwestern city.
    - daniel-cussen 5y ago
      Oh yeah I was getting filmed talking to a book dealer who sold his books on the sidewalk. Nine days ago. Just some asshole staring at us and filming with what looked like a digital photographic photo camera, it was small. I went up to him and asked him what the fuck, he said "oh haha nothing nothing I wasn't filming" while you could see filming on his screen. That's what you get for making billions of video cameras, they actually get used sometimes. They're little black holes, light cannot escape them.
      - deleted 5y ago
        [deleted]
    - armchairhacker 5y ago
      what a nice character, you should’ve asked them on a date
- mettamage 5y ago
  > It'd be interesting to see how this would work out today. I've approached 1000s of people about ten years ago. Back in 2012, it wasn't an issue. The worst rejections I've faced were: * a woman shouting very loudly to go the f- away. I immediately backed away put my hands up and replied "ok". Her loud voice grew softer as our distance grew. This was at a train station. * I was pushed down from a stairs. I should've been hurt badly but apparently I was running so fast that my legs were keeping up with the stairs and falling from it, transforming the whole ordeal from falling to running. Interestingly enough it wasn't the woman I approached, but the boyfriend. He arrived 5 min. after I talked to her girlfriend (I had no clue) and he immediately grabbed me and threw me off the stairs. Once down the stairs (unharmed), I asked him how I was supposed to know since I saw the woman sitting alone. He told me that that wasn't his problem that he was on the bathroom for 5 min. leaving his GF alone. I told him that next time he saw a situation like that he could've just tried talking first. He replied indifferent to it. I wished him a good night. This was in a club. * I got headbutted by a guy, simply because I wanted to make a conversation with him. He told me (sarcastically) if I liked it. I told him that I didn't and that this was the end of our conversation. I walked away, he didn't pursue (as I predicted). This was at a festival. * I got scammed out of 5 euro's because I was making conversation with 2 Russians (10 years ago). This was on the street. Yea, that's it. After this I get an immediate drop to stuff like "I'm sorry, but I have a boyfriend", "I'm sorry I don't feel like talking at the moment", or similar friendly sounding rejections. So what's the upside? * I met one woman. 2 minutes in the conversation, the topic became about ballroom dancing, taught her some ballroom on the spot. I got a rush of adrenaline and butterflies and so did she (she looked and acted different after dancing). We cuddled and kissed a lot that day. I was a teenager back then, so this was kind of the dream, lol. The conversation started off in a mall. * A guy came couchsurfing in my place, that night I went out with him and I was crowdsurfing thanks to him. He told me to get on his hands, I didn't get it but did it anyway and he threw me in the air. I was scared but couldn't do anything. It was awesome. * I walk in a club, see a woman, ask her a question, we chat for a minute. We start making out (I have no clue how that happened, it must've been her, I don't really dare to make moves like that) and next thing you know she invites me to go to London. The club was in Amsterdam, and the next day I took a bus to London to continue our fun dynamic. * Making an amazing friend. In this case, I was getting invited to their high school to study there for a day and be on their graduation throwing beer all over each other while standing on the back of a truck (a tradition there, lol). I think I'd have at least 20 stories like this. Some of these stories involve long relationships, one of them still ongoing. So for me it was definitely worth it. Interestingly, as you can read, the most aggressive rejections were all male. Women don't get physical that quickly, not in my experience anyway. Some men get physical really quickly. This also means that from my experience, it's more dangerous to try and make friends with a man than it is to try and date a woman. At least, as far as random places go (like clubs, malls, etc.).
deleted 5y ago
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colpabar 5y ago

>"Nobody took out a stiletto and cut my balls off" -- I've always loved that expression. I think the modern era equivalent would be having your picture taken and posted on social media with the intent of shaming you. I cannot say for sure whether it's more likely to happen, but posting a pic on twitter is significantly easier than mutilating someone with a dagger. It'd be interesting to see how this would work out today.

beaconstudios 5y ago
Sure that could theoretically happen, but so what? Some people you don't know make fun of you for being awkward. It's not the end of the world!
phkahler 5y ago
>> It'd be interesting to see how this would work out today. Start after work today. Report in next month when you've tried 100 times.
philosopher1234 5y ago
This seems insanely far fetched. Why would someone photograph you just for talking to them?
- cobertos 5y ago
  I walked by someone with a body cam yesterday who was stopping people to ask them about political beliefs in a abrasive way. People are definitely taking specifically crafted IRL things and using them as fuel in the digital space. Not in a big city either, a smaller satellite city of a bigg midwestern city.
  - daniel-cussen 5y ago
    Oh yeah I was getting filmed talking to a book dealer who sold his books on the sidewalk. Nine days ago. Just some asshole staring at us and filming with what looked like a digital photographic photo camera, it was small. I went up to him and asked him what the fuck, he said "oh haha nothing nothing I wasn't filming" while you could see filming on his screen. That's what you get for making billions of video cameras, they actually get used sometimes. They're little black holes, light cannot escape them.
    - deleted 5y ago
      [deleted]
  - armchairhacker 5y ago
    what a nice character, you should’ve asked them on a date
mettamage 5y ago
> It'd be interesting to see how this would work out today. I've approached 1000s of people about ten years ago. Back in 2012, it wasn't an issue. The worst rejections I've faced were: * a woman shouting very loudly to go the f- away. I immediately backed away put my hands up and replied "ok". Her loud voice grew softer as our distance grew. This was at a train station. * I was pushed down from a stairs. I should've been hurt badly but apparently I was running so fast that my legs were keeping up with the stairs and falling from it, transforming the whole ordeal from falling to running. Interestingly enough it wasn't the woman I approached, but the boyfriend. He arrived 5 min. after I talked to her girlfriend (I had no clue) and he immediately grabbed me and threw me off the stairs. Once down the stairs (unharmed), I asked him how I was supposed to know since I saw the woman sitting alone. He told me that that wasn't his problem that he was on the bathroom for 5 min. leaving his GF alone. I told him that next time he saw a situation like that he could've just tried talking first. He replied indifferent to it. I wished him a good night. This was in a club. * I got headbutted by a guy, simply because I wanted to make a conversation with him. He told me (sarcastically) if I liked it. I told him that I didn't and that this was the end of our conversation. I walked away, he didn't pursue (as I predicted). This was at a festival. * I got scammed out of 5 euro's because I was making conversation with 2 Russians (10 years ago). This was on the street. Yea, that's it. After this I get an immediate drop to stuff like "I'm sorry, but I have a boyfriend", "I'm sorry I don't feel like talking at the moment", or similar friendly sounding rejections. So what's the upside? * I met one woman. 2 minutes in the conversation, the topic became about ballroom dancing, taught her some ballroom on the spot. I got a rush of adrenaline and butterflies and so did she (she looked and acted different after dancing). We cuddled and kissed a lot that day. I was a teenager back then, so this was kind of the dream, lol. The conversation started off in a mall. * A guy came couchsurfing in my place, that night I went out with him and I was crowdsurfing thanks to him. He told me to get on his hands, I didn't get it but did it anyway and he threw me in the air. I was scared but couldn't do anything. It was awesome. * I walk in a club, see a woman, ask her a question, we chat for a minute. We start making out (I have no clue how that happened, it must've been her, I don't really dare to make moves like that) and next thing you know she invites me to go to London. The club was in Amsterdam, and the next day I took a bus to London to continue our fun dynamic. * Making an amazing friend. In this case, I was getting invited to their high school to study there for a day and be on their graduation throwing beer all over each other while standing on the back of a truck (a tradition there, lol). I think I'd have at least 20 stories like this. Some of these stories involve long relationships, one of them still ongoing. So for me it was definitely worth it. Interestingly, as you can read, the most aggressive rejections were all male. Women don't get physical that quickly, not in my experience anyway. Some men get physical really quickly. This also means that from my experience, it's more dangerous to try and make friends with a man than it is to try and date a woman. At least, as far as random places go (like clubs, malls, etc.).

deleted 5y ago

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